The Goblet of Fire (and numerous other disasters)
by Iceflight398
Summary: It's Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts, and the stakes are rising! After receiving a dream from his (dead) mom, England enlists the help of his fellow nations to protect Harry. But the only two available are two old geezers, China and India. Will they succeed in protecting Harry? (Obviously, since there three books and four movies left). [Slight canon divergence]
1. Ask for help (what are friends for?)

《中国》

"I need help," England blurted out randomly at the end of a meeting with the Allies.

He received odd looks, China being among them. It wasn't customary for a proud personification such as England to ask for help. The Asian nation sighed, brushing stray strands of silky black hair out of his tired face. He was in no mood to humor anyone else. The night before, he hadn't slept well, tormented by nightmares of bloodied katanas and dreams of old friends long gone.

"What is wrong, _mon petit lapin_?" France asked with a condescending smirk on his handsome face.

England scowled angrily at the Frenchman. "I'm only asking you people for help because I see no other option! Okay, so you guys know Hogwarts?"

"Don't you mean _Hogwash_?" America asked, smirking. "Ilvermorny forever!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!" England yelled, turning bright red. "Don't forget that your school - and country - has its roots in me!"

America bristled for a second, before scoffing. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't be talking if I were you. Even one of the things you're most famous for - tea - comes from Asia!"

"Stop arguing, you stupid Westerners!" China scolded. Honestly, all these Westerners could do was eat and fight. China couldn't resist a good jab at Opium, though.

"However... I must say America was right with that last in that last comment..."

America grinned and England turned red enough to rival Romano.

"Arrgh! Listen!" The eyebrowed nation shrieked, almost like a little child. Of course, compared to China, he was a child.

Russia smiled in an almost childlike manner and hugged his metal pipe. "We are, _da_?"

" _Non_ ," France said flatly, "But do continue on anyways, my dear _Angleterre_."

England clenched his fists, obviously trying not to start a fight. This piqued China's attention. Opium was usually more than eager to start a fight, so whatever he wanted to say, it must be very important for him to try to keep that controlled.

"Everybody!" China yelled, banging the table with his wok. "Let's stop fighting and actually listen to what Opium here has to say! Then I can go home and you stupid Westerners can keep fighting!"

America looked like he wanted to argue, but seemed to change his mind after taking one look at China's wok.

England breathed a sigh of relief and grunted his thanks to China. "Right... so you know Lord Voldemort? He Who Must Not Be Named? The bald, noseless chap?"

France rolled his eyes. "How could we not?"

"Well, he has his eyes set on Harry. Harry Potter."

China pursed his lips together, feeling ticked off that England would spout such redundant information. "We already know that, Opium. The whole wizarding community knows it. I thought this was going to be important."

"But I had a vision! Or... well, a dream. From my mum. She said that if we didn't help Harry Potter this year - his fourth year - he wouldn't be able to pass."

America burst out laughing, followed by Russia and France. "So what if he doesn't pass his exams? He's the Boy Who Lived. He can repeat a year."

"No!" England yelled, his face starting to go red again. "It's something else! I know it is! With all this junk in the muggle world that's been happening... the last thing we need is for the wizarding war to get worse! Someone has to go undercover in Hogwarts to help the Potter boy, and it can't be me, since I already graduated several years ago according to record!"

France shrugged apologetically, his face turning serious. " _Désolé_ , _mon petit lapin_. I have already graduated my own school, and, ah... I am very much on record."

America and Russia both nodded, looking apologetic as well. "Us too."

"But I can go," China announced boldly, his amber eyes flashing. "I've been having dreams from Britannia too, though I could never quite remember the details. I'm certain, though, that it was about this. So-"

"Thank you!" England cried, falling to his knees in front of China to the great shock of everyone. "Thank you so much! I swear that-"

With a huff, China hoisted England up and smacked him with the wok. "Stop acting so weird, Opium! Look, I'll call India to help me, we'll get this all sorted out, and we can get everything back to normal."

America tilted his head to one side, his sky blue eyes confused. "Why India?"

"Because," China explained, releasing England, "We are the two that graduated from magical school the earliest, so it will be hardest to trace us. Plus we actually graduated before Hogwarts even existed, so..."

Russia frowned, grabbing China and hugging tightly to his chest. China shrieked in alarm, trying to hit Russia with his wok. Stupid Russia!

"But will my sweet Yao-Yao be in danger?" Russia asked, narrowing his eyes and hugging China tighter, causing China to gag.

France patted Russia's broad shoulder reassuringly. "Do not worry, _mon_ cher. China has the healing powers customary of a nation, after all!"

England nodded. "I have a spell that will change him - and India - into seemingly ordinary fourteen-year-old wizards. They'll still be able to resurrect themselves, though."

"Well, it's all settled then," China announced, putting away his wok. "I'll get India over here, and we'll get going to Hogwarts!"

* * *

6/19/2017

I was scared of the dark because I watched a scary movie trailer ad with a creepy villain called Kevin so I stayed up all night so I wrote this.

The highway to hell is paved with Kevin's.


	2. What do you mean, no?

《中国》

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no?'" China shrieked over the phone at his only friend from the ancient times that was still alive - India.

"I mean I don't want to help that Opium B-"

"Language!"

" _Maaf keejiye_. Look, old friend, why would you want to help him after all he's done to us? Let him fix his own problems. He did not better for us. As a matter of fact, we'd be doing better than he did, since we wouldn't be agitating any problems."

China bit his lip. India had a point. He began to rethink his decision. He did have his own problems to take care of, and all that "You-Know-Who" junk as European junk. But then he remembered the look in the eyes of that boy in the newspapers... the look of someone who is lost and frightened with no place to call home and no one to shelter him...

"Harry Potter was still a child in every right," China said, gently but firmly, "We cannot just leave him, regardless."

China heard India groan over the phone. "Of course you would say that. _Theek hai_ , I'll go. For old times sake."

* * *

6/19/2017

Ridiculously short chapter to make my progress seem greater by having more chapters™

After this chapter, you guys should have realized that India doesn't exactly have warm and fuzzy feelings towards England. Unless your reading comprehension sucks. But I won't judge, since my self-esteem sucks.

So basically back in the day, England was all like, "Imma take over the world!" like the rebellious, emo teen he was. So he got China addicted opium ( _tralalala, kiss the cash∼_ ), colonized a bunch of countries ( _tralalala, kiss more cash∼_ ), and when China's government decided enough was enough, beat China in a war and took Hong Kong ( _I'll make some cash out of youuu_ ). Unsurprisingly, many Brits considered the countries they had colonized to be inferior to then.

Needless to say, most of the countries weren't delighted by the fact another country took over then. So now let's talk about some things that happened to India specifically (you can look up the rest on your own).

Lemme introduce you to something called " _sepoys_." They were Indian soldiers fighting for the Brits. And then in 1857, they revolted.

There were a bunch of reasons they revolted, but the final spark (or the cherry on the cake of injustices) was the tallow and lard-greased cartridges. Them being soldiers, they had rifles. In order to load their rifle, the sepoys had to bite the cartridges to release the powder. The problem? It was rumored that the grease was derived from beef (eating beef is considered offensive by Hindus) and pork (eating pig is offensive to Muslims).

Rumors flew like it was high school, the Brits tried to solve it, (the solution obviously didn't work), more rumors flew, and bam.

So a bunch of civilians, women, and children were killed on both side, by both sides. Some sepoys still fought for the Brits since they considered living under the Brits to be better. British newspaper told stories about how terrible the revolting sepoys were, some might have been true, some might have been over-exaggerations, and some might have been blatant lies.

(Spoiler alert) the Brits won.

Then, during World War 2, the Indians were starving.

Winston Churchill, who is remembered by many as a hero who stood up against the evils of Hitler, was all like, "Whatever, man. Those Indians are like bunnies, popping out way too many babies. Let 'em starve. Their own problem. Let's go fight the angry German guy with the cool mustache and the Americans can make movies about it later!"

Of course, Winston Churchill stopped Germany from killing Jews, and in Britain, the people weren't exactly having a feast everyday. This was war. Food would have been tight for everyone.

This goes to show that history is not black and white. See, the Brits were jerks for taking over the Indians, treating them less fairly than they would treat whites, and (maybe) giving them offensive cartridges, but they did try to solve the offensive cartridges problem and before them, India's system was a lot worse. Today, it's a lot better than before the Brits came.

Actually, many of the countries England colonized, such as my own beautiful USA, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, are super good countries that everyone wants to immigrate to nowadays. Also, Hong Kong's government is more democratic the that of Mainland China (and then Mainland decided to assert more control and stuff, but that's a conversation for another day). Colonization by England had actually improved a lot of the countries.

Last but not least, English is pretty much the most universal language. Without the Brits trying to take over most of the world, English wouldn't be a universal language, and a lot of things (such as business) would be a lot harder.

So the question is, did England's colonization do more harm than good? The colonization countries lost a lot of their national identity and were sometimes subjected to unfair treatment, but a lot ended up as better countries after they were freed. Would they have made it their themselves eventually if England hadn't colonized them? Would Gandhi have stood up against the Indian government for democracy instead of standing up against the British for the freedom of India?

History is 50 shades of gray.


	3. Magic with the Eyebrow brothers

《इंडिया》

"Are you two ready?" England asked, raising his spell book and wand.

From beside him, the other Kirkland brothers did the same.

From inside the magic circle, India shifted nervously. In no reality did he trust England's magic. Someone could pay him to trust it and he still wouldn't. And those eyebrows… they hurt his eyes.

"Are you sure this is safe, Opium brothers?" China asked, scowling.

"Positive," Wales said confidently.

India rolled his eyes, voicing his thoughts. "You've messed up your magic one too many times for us to trust you."

"It's safe!" England snapped aggressively.

"Calm down, bro," America said from where he was leaning against the wall of Scotland's house. "They have a right to be nervous."

"You do have a penchant for messing up your spells, _mon petit lapin_ ," France agreed.

Russia clenched his pipe and smiled darkly. "If something bad happens to my Yao-Yao, I will rip you all into confetti and use it as sprinkles on ice cream, _da_?"

"Heck, _nyet_ ," Northern Ireland muttered, brushing his ginger bangs out of his emerald green eyes.

"Well," Scotland announced loudly, ignoring Russia's threat. "Let's get going. On three!"

"One!" Wales cheered.

"Two!" Northern Ireland grinned.

England scowled angrily. "Bloody get on with it!"

As the chant began, a blue light filled India's vision. Around him, the magical circle began to glow brightly, golden force fields emanating from each of the lines. India felt a cold wind above his head, and upon looking up, he saw a vortex above China and him, a whirlpool of darkness. Darkness streamed up from around him, in the shape of screaming souls. As the darkness left, he began to feel lighter, as if he were shedding layers of heavy clothing. Many of the familiar aches that he had grown accustomed to seemed to disappear. The ceiling grew further away.

And then golden light began to get sucked from him too. Dimly, he thought he heard England give a cry of alarm. As the light went towards the vortex, it took on the shapes of elephants and magnificent palaces, of spices and his beloved Taj Mahal. As the last bursts of gold left him, the world seemed to blur. Had the vortex sucked away his strength too? Or was this one of the fine print side effects? As his the ground began to swing up to him, India silently cursed England for this terrible situation.

* * *

6/19/2017

(SPOILER ALERT) They messed up.

But that's kind of a given.


	4. Super-duper epic screwup

《इंडिया》

India woke up with a pounding headache, bringing back nasty memories of all of his hangovers. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, not wanting to face any light. Had he been drunk? Was England's obviously failed spell a drunken dream/nightmare?

Sadly, all of his hopes were dashed by Norway's angry voice telling the Eyebrow brothers off.

"I can't believe how badly you _dårer_ messed up! This... don't you _idioter_ know… And the worst thing..."

The Norwegian man's usually stoic now seemed to be shaking with an effort to remain calm. India furrowed his brows. To make Norway that angry... What the heck had the Eyebrow brothers done?

Opening his eyes blearily and wincing at the light, he was greeted by America's concerned blue eyes.

"Yo, _are you okay_?" America asked worriedly in Hindi.

India nodded, the movement causing his neck muscles to howl in protest. He groaned, the noise sounding like a dehydrated mountain goat on its death bed.

" _What... happened...?_ " India managed to choke out, his throat so parched it felt like the time he and Rome had accidentally gotten gotten lost in the Middle East.

" _Iggy screwed up on his spell_ ," America informed India in a whisper, casting a nervous glance at the side. " _Do you want some water?_ "

Maybe he was worried that talking too loudly would bring Norway's wrath down on him too. India didn't care.

" _China_ ," He croaked.

" _China's already awake,_ " America whispered. " _Thank every deity ever for that, too, because Russia was on a rampage before China calmed him down. You want water?_ "

" _Please…_ "

"'Kay." America got up for a second, and there was the sloshing sound of water being poured into a glass. Then America reappeared. " _Here_ , bro."

India reached out to grab the water, but the instant it was passed into his hands, he nearly dropped it.

"Woah!" America whispered, grabbing the water before it could spill. He held out the clear water for India to drink.

India grimaced. He was being babied by a nation thousands of years younger than him. England (and his stupid brothers) were all dead.

"India's awake!" A voice that India recognized as Romania's suddenly shouted.

"Thank God!" Scotland yelled.

There was a rushed patter of feet, before America and the water was shoved aside and four faces, each bearing ridiculously thick eyebrows, appeared before him.

"It's hideous," India muttered deliriously.

"Bloody wanker," England grumbled, with a hint of relief in his voice. "But at least he's still normal."

"And not dead," Norway added icily, shoving the hideous people aside to examine India.

" _Dhanyavaad_ ," India mumbled. "You are much prettier than they are."

The Eyebrow brothers shouted some rather unflattering comments from out of India's vision, and he thought he heard China's familiar chuckle.

Norway ignored it all. "The failed spell has turned you and China into 14-year-old wizards. Most of your scars have disappeared, except for the major ones." His voice was seemingly as icy and stoic as normal, but India thought he could detect a slight waver in the Nordic nation's voice.

Processing the information Norway had given him, India blinked. Maybe his mind was still a little fuzzy from the bad spell, but didn't that mean the (bad) spell had worked? He was about to voice this before Norway continued.

"However, if you two are truly human in every right."

In his weak state of mind, India couldn't process this. Human...?

"If you die... it will be permanent."

Die? Permanent? But they were nations! They couldn't die! What would happen to their people?

"We don't have a cure yet-"

"No," India choked out feebly, his mind whirling with all the new information.

"I don't like it either," Romania said, his face appearing in India's field of vision, fangs and everything. "But that's just how things are."

"Do you still want to go on the mission?" Wales asked.

Though India couldn't see the European nation, his voice sounded nervous.

" _Nahin_!" India snapped in the loudest voice he could manage, though it made him sound like an angry, dying great grandfather (which in all honesty, wasn't far from the truth).

"Please," Northern Ireland begged. "Look, I know you're mad at us for multiple reasons, and that's totally fair. But this isn't about us. It's about the safety of the world - and of a 14 year old boy that doesn't deserve to suffer."

"India," China's voice said, firm as ever. "We can't abandon a child."

India let out a weak, crazed laugh. "Seriously? You want to help Opium after everything he's done?"

"I already told you. For the child, not for him."

"But if we die-"

"We were great nations when Rome was still in diapers." China sounded amused. "Going to school won't kill us.

"Please, India," America's youthful voice cut in. "You know that if that jerkface Voldemort wins, it won't be good for anyone anywhere in the world."

India exhaled, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Maybe China was right. Even if China was wrong, India wasn't going to abandon one of his oldest friends. India wouldn't be able to deal with himself if China died alone on this mission. To be honest, he wouldn't be able to deal with himself if the child died either.

"Fine."

* * *

6/19/2017

Everything is England's fault.

Also, this might be a good time to explain the languages in this story. You can just assume that they're talking in English unless explicitly stated. Entire sentence of italicized English dialogue is in a foreign language, but if the foreign language is a single word or phrase, then I'll just Google Translate it and put it in here in the romanized form of the actual language. The reason for this being that if you Google Translate an entire sentence… yeah…

Mandarin, however, will be in written in Chinese characters because a) I'm Chinese American and I can type in Chinese and b) it looks weird to me when it's in Pinyin.

Last but not least…

#blameiggy


	5. The Portkey (and China's latest sibling)

《中国》

"Arthur, old chap!"

Both the Wesley and the nation said this at the same time as the two (along with their charges) met up at the portkey, causing Amos Diggory and Raj to burst out into laughter.

England chuckled. "It never gets old, eh?"

Yao rolled his eyes at their antics. However, he had to admit that it was a little amusing. He turned his gaze to the Potter boy and his two friends. Yao had heard that his female friend, the Granger girl, was an excellent student. Good. She had messy brown hair, serious brown eyes, and her arms were crossed over her blue cardigan. Harry's male friend, Ronald, was a redhead, just like the rest of his family. Unsurprising. He was tall and lanky, with blue eyes and a patched coat on. As his eyes landed on Harry Potter, one thing immediately came to Yao's attention.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was noticeably thin.

Yao pursed his lips and furrowed his elegant black brows.

"Have you been eating?" Yao worriedly asked Harry.

Harry looked bewildered, blinking and looking around as if he was worried Yao wasn't talking to you. "Huh...?"

Yao sighed in exasperation. " _Aiya_ , you really are far too thin. I'll need to feed you a lot!"

Raj snicked. "Some people never change, eh?"

England rolled his emerald eyes. "Allow me to introduce my two charges, Yao Wang and Raj Ahmadi. They are transfer students from China and India, respectively. I'm taking care of them this year in place of their parents."

Yao huffed. "We do not need to be taken care of you by you!"

"Yeah!" Raj agreed heatedly.

"Yao certainly seems more nagging and motherly than Arthur," Yao heard Ron mutter to the Harry.

Amos Diggory chuckled proudly. "Don't forget my boy Cedric! He won the Hogwarts quidditch cup last year as the captain of his team, you know."

Fred and George Weasley scowled in displeasure at this.

Cedric waved, a friendly but embarrassed smile on his face. He had light brown hair and a Hufflepuff scarf was tied around his neck. "Don't make a big deal out of it, dad. It was just a fluke."

"Say," Raj whispered to Yao, "Doesn't he look like that sparkly vampire from one of America's movies?"

Yao felt his eye twitch. His knee twitched as well, hitting Raj where it really hurt.

"Ow!" Raj yelped.

"Why did you say your victory was a fluke?" Yao curiously asked Cedric, ignoring Raj's wails of pain.

Cedric shrugged. "Oh, when Hufflepuff was playing Gryffindor, some dementors attacked Harry, the Gryffindor seeker, and caused him to fall of his broom, so we won."

Yao felt his heart freeze and the blood drain from his face. " _Aiya_! Dementors? At a school? What kind of terrible school is this? Who runs that place?"

"Only the greatest wizard ever, Dumbledore," Ron muttered.

"This is terrible! What else has happened there, hmm?"

Cedric shifted uncomfortably. "Well, in Harry's first year…"

"...there was a three-headed dog and a professor was hiding You-Know-Who in the back of his head. Harry, Ron, and I dealt with it." Hermione finished.

Ron nodded. "And in our second year, my little sister got kidnapped and a basilisk petrified a lot of people. Harry ended up fighting it while I babysat a professor that accidently gave himself amnesia."

"What?" Yao shrieked, feeling horrified at the utter incompetence of this school. "I need to go complain to the headmaster once I get there! This is not a good learning environment for children! Why can't professors or maybe even Dumbledore deal with these dangerous types of things? This is ludicrous!" He patted Harry's messy black hair, though he had to stand on his tiptoes. "Don't worry, Harry, I'll take care of you this year. The instant there's a problem, I'll kick my way up to Dumbledore's office and make him deal with it himself!"

"Thank you…?" Harry stammered, looking as if he wasn't sure how to react.

Everyone except for Hermione (who looked incredibly delighted) and Harry simply looked amused and continued on with their own conversations, irritating Yao. He was 4,000 years old, though he had never looked the part, even when he was still a nation. He was going to march up to Dumbledore's office and demand a good learning environment for students!

"As a matter of fact," Yao continued, "You can consider me your older brother!"

"Wait… brother? As in you're a guy-"

"Look at the time!" One of the Weasley twins suddenly shouted, effectively cutting off Harry's question.

"We'd better get going!' The other one added.

Yao was only able to tell the difference between them thanks to practice from the Korea twins. Back in the day, they both had long, braided hair, so they were literally identical (except Hyung Soo was scowling all the time and Yong Soo never seemed to stop smiling).

"Righty-O!" Amos Diggory smiled. "Grab onto the boot!"

Harry looked confused. "Why?"

"Because it's a portkey," Yao said. "Now grab on!"

As the world begin to spin, Harry finally grabbed on at what must have been the last second, much to Yao's relief. After all, it would have been the ultimate fluke if they had lost the Chosen Boy (and Yao's latest little sibling) via portkey.

* * *

6/17/2017

I have no idea what to say so imma just be weird™

I HATE PINEAPPLES

I wanna kill eine ananas

DESTROY ALL PINEAPPLES

Also, seriously, Hogwarts? At least huge, near-death disaster per year, and not even a single school counselor or some qualified security guards.


	6. Chinese food at camp

《中国》

"Woah," Yao heard Harry Potter say in awe as they entered the magical tent.

When Yao was younger, he would have been the same way. On the outside, the tent must have been the plainest, smallest thing ever, merely a moldy brown tarp held up by sticks. On the inside, though, it was large and luxurious, covered in drapings of red and gold. However, after seeing so much, many things had lost their wonder to Yao.

How he envied children.

Sighing, the ancient Chinese man rushed over to the kitchen as the others were setting up their things. He needed to fix a meal for Harry. Poor thing... so thin… Yao had heard that his relatives were jerks to him. If that were so, why didn't Dumbledore just keep him at Hogwarts? If the boy needed protecting, Dumbledore was the best person to do it!

"Aiya..." Yao grumbled, feeling annoyed at how stupid other people were.

* * *

"Food is ready!" Yao announced proudly, bringing over a plate of warm Chinese food that held a delicious aroma to the carved wooden table. "Raj, get your lazy 屁股 up and help me!"

"Coming, _mum_ ," Raj grumbled sarcastically.

"Your food smells really good, Yao," Hermione complimented.

"谢谢," Yao said smugly.

Harry and Ron were already helping themselves to excessive portions of the food. Nothing this, Hermione immediately kicked the two of them.

"Don't be rude!" She scolded.

Harry look apologetic and guilty while Ron flat out ignored her. Yao, however, was content to shrug it off.

"Aiya, don't worry about it. Food is for eating, after all! Especially good food. Now Opium -eh, Professor Kirkland- his food is disgusting!"

"Terrible," Raj agreed. "One bite could fell a giant."

England turned bright red. "Don't insult my food, you disrespectful wankers!"

Raj stuck his tongue out at England. "Nah, nah."

Arthur Weasley chuckled. "Seems like you have your hands full, Arthur. But they can't be worse than Fred and George."

"Speaking of Fred and George," Ginny said curiously, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "Where are they?"

"Betting with the guy that got us tickets, Bagman Crouch," Raj replied. "I would have gone with them, but..." He glanced at Yao and England. "That would upset two certain naggers."

Yao scowled, grabbing Raj by the ear. "You're right, it would! Don't you dare go getting yourself into trouble, got it? Not here or at Hogwarts!"

"Fine, _Mum_."

The motherly Chinese man sighed in exasperation. Some people would never change. He could still remember the time Raj and Rome had gotten lost in the Middle East while playing tag with some children. By the time Yao and Parthia had found them, the two had looked like baked corpses.

Arthur Weasley chuckled drily. "Maybe we should get Yao to live at our house. Then he could rein in Fred and George."

Cedric Diggory shook his head solemnly. "I'm afraid that that would be trying to accomplish the impossible, Mr. Weasley."

Everyone laughed. Fred and George, after all, were infamous for their pranks.

"Well," Amos Diggory said merrily, "Don't want those two to be having all the fun. Let's get going after we finish this delicious meal Yao cooked for us, shall we?"

* * *

6/19/2017

Yes, I know this isn't what happened in the book. It isn't going to be the same as what happened in the book.

Seriously, if I could write like JK Rowling could, I wouldn't be hunched miserably in my dad's office trying to finish nine chapters of a math book in 12 days while trying to find more time to write while worrying about whether or not I'm going to be able to get into a good enough college to meet my parents' standards.

So don't complain.


	7. The Mistake

《इंडिय》

The bleachers of the quidditch stadium was bursting with vibrant noise, not unlike the sports stadiums of the muggle world. Vendors were everywhere, trying to get people to buy _authentic_ mini broomsticks signed by Viktor Krum and moving sugar mummy fingers. Raj was tempted to go and buy some mummy fingers to pull a prank on England, but after noticing that Yao was giving him cold glare that could put a man six feet under, he decided against it.

"This year's going to be boring with Yao mothering me all the time," Raj thought bitterly, slowing down his pace has he brooded over how he could bypass Yao- no easy feat, since the Chinese man had raised over seven children.

"Come along now," England shouted over the crowd at Raj, "Don't fall behind!"

"You're not my mum!" Raj snapped ferociously at England, but he noted with a shock that he had indeed fallen quite behind. He could only still see England because a) the Brit had (surprisingly) waited for him and b) those eyebrows were like homing beacons.

Picking up his pace, Raj hurried after the main group through the seemingly endless sea of witches and wizards who were buying cheap ripoff souvenirs and placing bets. An old memory flooded back to him, one that he hadn't thought of in a long time, of getting lost in the market as a child. Surrounded by a forest of tall legs and booming voices, he had seen another child, as tiny and terrified as he had been. Then two strong arms had picked up the child and held the child close- a parent or an older sibling.

At that moment, Raj's fear had been displaced by a burning envy. He had grown up by himself, without a warm hand to guide him along the way. Sure, it had won him "grandpa" rights and bragging rights, but he couldn't help but feel bitter towards the younger nations that had had grandparents and older siblings to help them through the hardships of being a nation. Yao had grown up the same way Raj had, which was probably why the Chinese nation was so nurturing. He didn't want anyone to be as lonely as he was.

As he caught sight of the main group once more, he felt a warm feeling in his chest. Now, Raj wasn't. He saw the Weasley boys (minus Percy) and Harry joking together, while Percy and Ginny were talking about some book. Hermione and Yao talking to a tiny house elf who looked extremely bashful.

Raj smiled. And then Yao caught sight of him.

"Aiya! Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I was? What if you had gotten hurt? Imagine the headlines: Idiot Teen Trampled by Crowds at Quidditch Game. Honestly! What if we hadn't been able to find each other again? What then?"

"Opium would have cast one of his bad spells in an attempt to find me and blown up the entire stadium," Raj answered, trying not to laugh (that would just make everything worse).

Yao's face was as red as a tomato and his arms were crossed over his chest. His bright amber eyes were burning ferociously, like a mama bear or something. Due to being shorter than everyone present except for Ginny, Yao was tilting his head upwards in an almost angry way, as if that could somehow make him grow taller.

Raj snickered.

Yao to begin to scream at him again, this time in rapidfire Mandarin. Ron and the twins gave Raj looks of sympathy.

"Life sucks, doesn't it?" Ron said, giving Raj a comforting pat on the shoulder.

Fred (or was it George?) grinned. "She's just like our beautiful Mum."

George/Fred snickered. "Or good ol' 'Mione."

Hearing the pronoun Fred/George used, Raj gulped and shifted uncomfortably in place. Yao immediately stopped his rant to give the offending the ultimate evil eye that signaled Doomsday.

George/Fred frowned. "Wait... what's going on? What's got her knickers in a twist?"

Yao didn't give him the benefit of an answer, immediately pulling a wok on the twins. They looked tempted to laugh at first, but after one smack, they were screaming in terror. As Yao continued extracting his vengeance, Hermione and Ginny looked amused while Ron, and the other males looked bewildered.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, looking hopelessly confused.

England sighed, rubbing his eyebrows and by default, his forehead. "The twins... they made the Mistake, didn't they?"

Raj nodded solemnly, pretending to wipe a tear from his golden brown eyes. "Rest in peace, Weasley twins. You will forever be remembered as idiots."

Ron looked even more lost. "The Mistake?"

England nodded uncomfortably. "Yes. Everyone makes it."

"I didn't!" Raj boasted.

Ginny giggled. "I'm sure you didn't."

Hermione began to laugh as well.

Harry shifted from side to side and looked at the ground. "Umm… I think Yao is actually… umm… a guy?"

Amos Diggory spit out his butterbeer. "Impossible! This must be some sort of joke!"

"Nope." Raj grinned. "I've seen it myself. Definitely not a girl."

England smacked Raj on the side of his head. "Stupid wanker!"

Raj stuck out his tongue at England. " _Bhaad mein jao_."

"Your tongue will freeze if you keep sticking it out."

"Don't treat me like a child!" Raj bristled angrily.

Before England could retaliate, Raj heard cold laughter from above them that brought back memories of Imperial England, except on puberty.

"Well, well," A blond boy drawled as he, two other blondes that were clearly his parents, and Cornelius Fudge (Minister of Magic) made their way over to them. "Look like Potter's made some new friends."

"Malfoy," Ron snarled.

"Weasley."

"And Raj!" Raj chirped cheerily.

Fudge chuckled. "Well, looks like everyone's friends! How nice!" He glanced over at the house elf that Hermione and Yao had been talking to. "Did you get a new house elf, Lucius?"

Lucius Malfoy sneered at the house elf, who covered behind Hermione. "No. What a pathetic thing. Just like..." He cast a scornful look at Arthur Weasley, as if he wanted to insult the Weasleys. Then he seemed to decide against it, maybe trying to keep at least a superficial peace for Fudge's benefit.

"This is Winky," Yao introduced, finally laying off on Fred and George and calming down (though his cheeks were still dusted with red). "She's Barty Crouch's house elf. Winky's saving a seat for him."

Fudge nodded, looking entirely uncaring. "Yes, yes. Lovely. Shall we sit? The match is about to start."

"Go Ireland!" Fred/George cheered.

"But Bulgaria has Viktor Krum!" Cedric protested.

George/Fred winked. "Yeah... but we may or may not have made a bet with Ludo Bagman that Ireland would emerge victorious, but Krum would catch the golden snitch."

Raj chuckled. "In that case, may the odds ever be on the favor of Ireland- and Viktor Krum!"

* * *

6/20/2017

China is the manlier than any of the Hetalia characters. Except for Hungary.

Do not question it.

 _Be a man_

 _We must be swift as the coursing river_

 _With all the force of a great typhoon_

 _With all the strength of a raging fire_

 _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_


	8. The stars are hidden

《इंडिय》

Raj let out a peal of laughter as he walked out of the stadium with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Yao.

"I had forgotten how much fun quidditch matches were! I can't believe Crouch didn't show, though. It was so awesome! But at least Winky got to see it." He declared as he beamed up at the indigo night sky that held thousands of beautiful stars in its embrace.

The stars entranced him. Though they seemed close together, many were actually alone, separated from its neighbours by thousands of light years. They were like nations that way, separated from humans by mortality and separated from other nations by politics and past grievances.

"The stars look lonely tonight," Yao said softly, as if reading Raj's mind. "But they are lovely. Let's hope the sky remains clear."

Hermione nodded. "It would be a pity of these stars were to be covered up."

Ron laughed wildly. "We can look at stars later! First, let's check this place out!"

Harry grinned as well. "With all this money Mr. Kirkland gave us, we should be able to buy a bunch of stuff. It was really kind of him to give us this."

Raj shrugged dismissively. "Oh, he has tons of money. But you should have seen him when he was in his imper- er, when he was in his prime. He was so much more annoying then. I mean, all he did was show off his money then show off his power then kil- er, kiss some people! Yeah, people who only liked him for his power. Totally."

The Indian man swallowed nervously when he noticed that Hermione had developed a suspicious look in her brown eyes as Raj was rambling. Noticing the death glare in Yao's fierce amber eyes at his slip-up, his ear ached in early anticipation of the scolding and ear-grabbing he was going to get.

Just as Hermione was opening her mouth to question Raj's odd statement, Yao let out of cry of alarm. After so many years on the battlefield, Raj recognized it as a genuine warning of danger, not as a distraction.

And indeed there was danger, because Raj managed to pick up the scent of smoke in the air.

Then the screaming began.

"Help!"

"救命!"

" _Tasukeru_!"

" _Spaseniye_!"

" _Rette mich_!"

Wails of terrors rang out across the field in a multitude of languages as dark shadows streaked across the sky, blocking out the once-bright stars. The choking smell of smoke became stronger and burning flames began to race through the camp. Adrenaline surged through Raj's body as his mind automatically analyzed the situation, eyes darting around, this sort of event all too familiar to him.

This was war, borne from hatred and misunderstanding, greed and desperation.

"Run!" He heard Yao order Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Turning his tense eyes to the trio, Raj thought that they looked like panicked little squirrels, their eyes wide and their wands out in their trembling hands.

Raising his voice so he could be heard over the din, he shook each of them by their shoulders. "Follow either Yao or me! Keep up with at least one of us! Got it?"

"Y-yessir!" Ron squeaked, obviously trying to keep up a brave front.

If nothing else, Raj had to applaud him for the effort. Even some grown soldiers would panic in a situation like this, with smoke clogging up their airways and people scrambling around everywhere like terrified rodents hiding from a hawk, an endless crowd that trampled over anything in its rush for safety.

"Look!" Hermione shrieked suddenly, pointing up at the sky, her eyes wide with horror.

Looking up at the shadow-streaked night sky, Raj felt his heart freeze and his blood run cold.

Glowing menacingly above them was a skull, hollow and dark. A snake slithered out from its mouth opening, its eyes narrow slits and its venomous fangs bared.

"No..." Raj whispered, allowing himself one heartbeat for the horror to sink in.

Then he grabbed onto two of the trio and sprinted away from the fire and screams, leaping over fallen bodies and tents, pulling them away even as they screamed to go back for the third. After all, saving two was better than saving zero. Simple math of war, really. Survival of the fittest. And Yao could save the third one.

And yet somehow, despite the clear, simple logic, a shred of doubt wormed his way into Raj's mind. Yao was human now. He could die. And so could the third.

Had Raj just left one of his oldest friends and a child behind to die?

* * *

6/20/2017

This other day I read this cool thing that was talking about how one of the main themes of HP was bigotry, and how even though the wizards were being persecuted and should have stuck together, they squabbled among themselves. Using our knowledge of our world, the muggles were the same way while they were being persecuted by the Dark Noseless Lord.

So after I read that I was like, hey! The real world is the exact same way! Non-whites are being persecuted, but even then, we squabble amongst ourselves. Countries are being invaded by other countries, but they still find a little time for in-fighting!

And of course, with all that hatred, some people need to let it out instead of going to the therapist or getting educated like a normal person. So voilà, we have riots, terrorists, hate crimes, and Trump.

What a nice world we live in.


	9. Fear and grief

《Harry Potter》

Harry's mind was still whirling, struggling to process all this new information. Just a few moments ago, he had been joking around with his two best friends and two great new friends. Now flames were everywhere and Harry could barely breathe through the smoke. His glasses were fogging up, clouding his vision.

"Hermione! Ron!" He yelled, looking and reaching around desperately for his friends.

A strong hand grabbed his arm, making him scream and try to jerk his arm away until he heard Yao's reassuring voice.

"Raj already escape with Hermione and Ron. Stay calm, Harry. 不要怕. Can you come with me?"

Harry nodded, trembling. He had been in bad situations before, but nothing like this. It was like those riots he had heard about in the news, except with magic. They were the same thing. People were angry with each other. Chaos. Crying children and yelling fathers. Flames. Smoke. Crashes.

He felt a sting at his face. Stumbling back, he half-raised his arms for protection before he realized Yao had slapped him lightly to get his attention.

"Harry! 快点儿! It's dangerous to stay here." Yao's tone became softer. "I understand that you're scared. Riots and violence can be really terrifying. Right now, we need to get away from the campsite. Can you run with me?"

"Run?" Harry mumbled, feeling confused. Where was there to run to? There was nothing but violence all around them. There was nowhere safe.

"Yes. We need to run towards the forest, where the Death Eaters aren't."

Harry nodded hesitantly. As he started to run, pulled along by Yao, he felt as if the world was slowing down for some reason. Feet hitting the ground. Breath in. Breath out. Yao's black ponytail whipping about in the air in front of Harry, the silky hair covered in soot. Parents screaming for their child, and embracing the frightened little boy with joy as they finally found him. A crying house elf. Was it Winky? Was it Harry's imagination?

And, a thousand breaths later or one, the next breath of air Harry took somehow felt clearer. Were they there? Had they gotten away? Was it a cruel trick of Harry's mind?

And then there were trees, tall and beckoning, like parents welcoming their children home after a long day. Harry's legs felt weak, as if they could not go another step without buckling.

"Farther!" Yao was screaming. "We need to get farther away! 加油，Harry!"

He didn't want to. He was tired. But Yao's grip was strong, pulling him through a little (or was it a lot?) farther before both men collapsed onto the foliage.

A tear trickled down Harry's cheek as he curled up on the ground. He wanted his parents. He wanted them to embrace him, to smile at him, to protect him from all the dangers of the world...

The foliage rustled, and then Harry felt a warm hand stroking his sooty black hair. Looking up through the tears, he saw Yao with a gentle expression on his ash-covered face. The Chinese man began to sing a soothing Chinese song as he continued on stroking Harry's hair, giving Harry a sense of warmth and protection he had never felt before.

 _睡吧，睡吧，我亲爱的宝贝_ _..._

* * *

6/20/2017

And so after all is said and done, Yao adopts Harry from the abusive Dursleys and is totally enough protection from Voldemort, because he knows kung fu and can train an entire army in one song and can draw on a single grain of rice and other cool stuff like that.

(At least, that's what I wish would happen to Harry. I mean, I know there's that whole mommy-protection-magic_thing™ explained the last book, but seriously? You leave a kid with abusive relatives? Super-duper-califragilisticexpialidocious bad idea).

The song at the end is actually a song my mother sings to me and my little sister when she puts us to bed. Yes, I used the present noun, my mom still tucks me in and sings me a lullaby sometimes. You are NEVER too old to want your mother.

I really wanna hug her right now, but I'm in Michigan with my dad and she's all the way over in California.

Imma go text her right now.


	10. Things can get better

《Harry Potter》

Blinking into consciousness, Harry stared up at crumbling wooden ceiling. It had a spot on it. And a cobweb. Sitting up and reaching for his glasses, Harry looked around and saw that he was in his shared room with Ron at the Burrow. He could hear the buzz of voices downstairs, maybe in the kitchen. They sounded a mixture of distressed and angry.

What had happened?

The last thing he remembered was Yao and the forest. Then... nothing. Groaning as he rolled out of bed, he looked down and found himself in wizard Mickey Mouse pajamas.

"I'm going to kill Fred and George," Harry grumbled, his voice hoarse.

He ran down the rickety staircase, skipping steps. As he got closer further down, he began to hear snippets of the conversation. They were definitely arguing. Not wanting to walk in and have things get awkward, Harry leaned against the kitchen door with his ear pressed to it.

"We have to save poor Winky! There's no way the Ministry will give her a fair trial." Hermione sounded terribly distressed.

What had happened to Winky? Had she gotten arrested for something?

"Hermione, that is the least of our worries right now." Percy's voice was cold. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to work."

There was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor and the door opening and getting slammed shut.

"Lighten up," Harry heard Raj say, clearly desperate to change the subject. "Something cool's going to happen at school!"

Hermione began to scream at him about the importance of equal rights. Harry heard Yao sigh loudly at Raj's statement.

"A potentially fatal 'cool thing.' Honestly, I don't understand why they would even if this. It is so incredibly dangerous. You know, the wizarding school in China would never do that." Yao raised his volume, his voice shaking a little. "Children could die from this... this... this thing that you do for entertainment! This 'cool thing.'"

"I have to agree with Yao on this one." Mrs. Weasley said, her voice clipped. "It is ridiculously dangerous."

"Children learn best by doing!" Mr. Kirkland's voice was loud and outraged now.

"And dying." Yao's tone was flat now. "Just you wait. By the end of this 'cool thing,' I'll bet you my entire savings that one kid will have died."

Harry frowned. It had been awhile since a kid had died. Surely Yao would be wrong? Hogwarts had Dumbledore. It was safe. The "cool thing" couldn't be that deadly, or they wouldn't do it. Harry had to appreciate Yao looking out for the students, though. He was like Mrs. Weasley in that way. But what was the (potentially deadly) "cool thing" they were talking about?

"What 'cool thing?'" Ron asked after an awkward silence following Yao's pessimistic statement, voicing Harry's question.

Harry heard a voice that he was pretty sure was Bill's chuckling. "It's a surprise."

"Yes," Yao said drily, "A surprise. And you can come in now, Harry."

Harry jumped, stunned. Then he nervously pushed open the kitchen door to reveal everyone except for Yao, Raj, and Mr. Kirkland looking shocked. The aforementioned three simply looked amused. Guiltily, Harry walked in this his head down.

"You didn't have to stand out there all that time, Harry," Raj said casually, leaning back against his chair. "You could have grabbed a front seat to today's show- Monty Python the Holy Nagger Trinity."

Harry shuffled in place uncomfortably, not sure what to do after being discovered.

"Well?" Mr. Kirkland said in a cool, professional manner, taking a sip of his tea. "Don't just stand there. Grab a seat."

Grabbing a seat next to Ron, Harry noticed that the shock over his arrival had mostly worn down and everyone was quietly eating their breakfast now. He also noticed the absences of Percy (who had gone to work) and Mr. Weasley.

"What happened?" Harry asked, sipping on his milk.

"Well," Raj said, "Monty Python went searching for the Holy Grail, but he accidentally found the Holy Nagger Trinity- by order of appearance, Mrs. Weasley, Yao, and Hermione. Then-"

"I meant after the riot at the World Cup."

"Oh. You passed out, Yao carried you in his big burly arms back here-"

Harry choked on his milk. "Yao carried me?"

"Yes," Yao snapped, looking as irritated as he had sounded during the earlier argument. "Don't sound so surprised!"

"Sorry," Harry mumbled through his coughs as Ron clapped him on the back.

"Then the Ministry arrested Winky because she was found holding your wand, and it was your wand that cast the Dark Mark," Mr. Kirkland continued in place of Raj, who looked annoyed his spot had been taken.

"Which was unfair!" Hermione added, looking and sounding incredibly upset. "They were just looking for a scapegoat!"

Yao sighed wearily. "All governments do that, Hermione."

"That doesn't make it right! Anyways, when we got back to the Burrow the next morning, we found out that Rita Skeeter- a nasty journalist- had written an article in the Daily Prophet with something about Mr. Weasley. He's gone to go sort it out. Tomorrow we're heading off to Hogwarts! I'm going to form a an organization that promotes the rights of house elves there."

Raj scoffed. "Good luck with the system. There's no getting past the system."

"People in the muggle world have improved the rights of minorities! Gay marriage is legal now-"

"In some countries."

"It's still progress! And there are no more slaves anymore and segregation is illegal. Schools are equal, people are becoming better-"

"And then Trump came along."

"Don't you see?" Hermione sounded frustrated. "It's still progress! Things will get better!"

Raj leaned over to Yao. "She sounds like a nerdy cross between Mei and Alfred."

"Don't ignore me!" Hermione sounded furious now. "This is really important! You should care about this since it happened to your own people! But you guys are independent now, aren't you? You stood up for ourselves and demanded change. You weren't afraid to challenge the system set in place. It was the same for my people. We were enslaved and then segregated, but things are much more equal for us now! See? Things can get better!"

Raj was silent for a moment, his eyes distant as if he was lost in the sea of the past. Then he nodded.

"True... you're a brave girl, Hermione. You remind me of someone else..." Raj's eyes got misty. Then he sighed. "Please, allow me the honor of becoming the second member of your organization to help house elfs."

"I'll join too," Ron offered. "Sounds like... umm... a good cause."

"Count me in," Mr. Kirkland said, smiling.

Yao smiled too. "You're the fourth to join, Opium. That's unlucky. And I'm joining as well."

"Me too," Harry added.

Ginny agreed as well.

Hermione looked absolutely delighted. Her brown eyes were sparkling with tears. "T-thank you guys so much! I just know that we'll be able to change things for the better!"

* * *

6/22/2017

"But that isn't what happened in the book, " said everyone watching the movies and reading this.

Look, if you want to read what happened in the books, then go read the books. But you clearly wanted something different, which is why you're reading this.

I think that it's really nice that they made Hermione black in The Cursed Child. (Pretty much the only redeeming part of that thing). It was never actually specified whether Hermione was black or white. However, Emma Watson was a really good actor and is a good person overall. I recommend listening to her speech to the UN about feminism, it's really inspiring.

Back to Hermione being black, I feel like that adds a whole new level of meaning to her character. Black people are usually stereotyped to be dumb, but Hermione's pretty much the best student in the whole school. Also, her stand for the right of house elves relates to black people standing up for their rights. All in all, Hermione is an awesome character, and she (as of right now) is definitely the book character that has influenced me the most.

* * *

I'm getting this feeling right now that not everyone will agree with my views in this chapter, which is totally okay. I will try to leave political bias out of the rest of the story, but there will be some historical references since Hetalia is literally history.

If you don't like this, please don't be mean about it. Not everyone likes the same things. I believe that art (writing, music, drawing, etc.) should be used to express yourself and your beliefs, and this is what I believe in. It will resonate with some people, but not with others. Like, if everyone liked the same type of music, there wouldn't be different genres. But different genres resonate with different people for a multitude of reasons, just like all other types of art.

Again, please don't be a jerk in the reviews about it. If you have something to say, say it calmly and respectfully, or it'll be a waste of your time since it won't influence anyone.


	11. Fun on the Hogwarts Express

《Hermione Granger》

Settling together in their compartment after they had changed into school robes with armfuls of candy, Hermione began to quiz the Raj and Yao, whose robes lacked color.

"What's the surprise?" She demanded, glaring at them from one side of the compartment.

Raj winked at her. "We can't tell you or it wouldn't be a sur-"

"It's like the Hunger Games except death isn't required," Yao said flatly.

"Yao!" Raj whined. "Why are you always so cynical? It'll be fun!"

"C'mon, mate," Ron begged, "Tell us!"

"Tell you what?" A cold voice sneered.

Hermione grimaced. Malfoy.

"Tell you about what's going to be happening at Hogwarts?" Malfoy sighed mockingly. "I suppose your father isn't high enough in the Ministry to know about stuff like this- my father and Fudge probably wouldn't talk about anything important in front of him."

"You bloody-" Ron began furiously.

Hermione hurriedly dragged him back with Harry, though she was tempted to punch Malfoy again like she did last year.

Raj said some stuff in Hindi while glaring at Malfoy, none of which Hermione felt was pleasant.

"Goodbye," Malfoy said, smirking and walking off.

Yao sighed. "Ignore him. People like him aren't worth it. Spend your time on those that can give you something beautiful in return."

When he said that, he sounded as if he had seen everything there was to see. Hermione frowned, remembering how Raj looked after her speech and how Harry had told her about Yao singing him to sleep.

Maybe they were just really mature. Or maybe...

Whatever it was, Hermione was certain that something was going on. When she had shared this with Harry and Ron lasr night, they had dismissed the idea, but Hermione refused to. The instant she was back at Hogwarts, she was going to borrow Harry's cloak of invisibility and do some research in the restricted area of the library.

Whatever it was, she was going to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

6/25/2017

Ridiculously short chapter to make my progress seem greater by having more chapters™

I've pretty much got the ingredients for every Pottertalia fic ever now: England asking fellow nations to go to Hogwarts, disaster strikes, everyone becomes friends, and Hermione is the only one out of the Golden Trio that notices that these new people are a bit fishy.

So this fic isn't that original. But the characters used inside aren't common! I've noticed that the Asians aren't used too often in other fics, so...

And a big thank you to any followers, favoriters, and positive reviewers now and in the future! To any negative reviewers now and in the future...

Thank you for taking time out of your day to contribute to mine.


	12. ¡Bienvenido a Hogwarts!

《Hermione Granger》

After the first years were all sorted into their respective houses, Dumbledore clapped his hands for attention.

"Every year," He announced in a loud, merry voice, "Is a cause for excitement! But this year is especially exciting. Professor Moody will be Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and pur History of Magic teacher, Professor Binns, has finally discovered that he is dead and has retired! Eh, not that that's exciting-" The students all let out a collective cheer nonetheless. Dumbledore chuckled. "Replacing him will be Professor Kirkland!"

"Seriously?" Ron whispered amidst the applause for the two new professors.

"I can't believe I didn't see him sitting at the teacher's table," Hermione muttered.

Harry laughed. "I can't believe it either. Those eyebrows are noticeable from a kilometer away."

Ron snorted. Hermione tried not to laugh, but failed.

"Did you notice that there are also extra tables?" Ron asked.

Before Hermione and Harry could reply, Dumbledore clapped for attention. "But wait! There's more! Hogwarts has the honor of hosting the first Triwizard tournament in many, many years!"

"So this was the surprise," Harry whispered.

"Three _of-age_ students will compete against each other, one student from each of three European wizarding schools. There will be three trials! Please welcome... Beauxbatons!"

The doors to the Great Hall opened with a bang, and students dressed in neat blue uniforms paraded in. Leading them was a woman who looked like she was literally a giant- or maybe a half giant and a man with shoulder-length blonde hair that blew kisses at everyone.

Hermione noticed that the instant Professor Kirkland saw the man, his face turned bright red.

"And the school of the famous quidditch player Viktor Krum... Durmstrangs!"

The students marched in, lead by a wiry, shifty-looking man. Near the front was Viktor Krum. Hermione could have sworn he looked at her. She giggled and felt her heart flutter, before instantly internally smacking herself for acting like this.

Ron scowled.

"As those in Spain and Latin America would say, bienvenido a Hogwarts! And may the best competitor win!" Dumbledore said cheerfully once everyone had settled down. "The competitors will be selected from the Goblet of Fire-" Hagrid carried over a giant goblet with flames inside and placed it on a stand. "Those who wish to enter may put their names inside- but remember, if you wish to enter, you must be of-age. There will be many spells put into place, so it's best not to even think about it." There were groans of disappointment from all around the Great Hall. "And, last but not least, there is a third surprise, since all good things come in threes! We have two new transfer students, one from China and one from India."

Ron grinned. Harry and Hermione grinned too.

"Please welcome... Yao Wang and Raj Ahmadi!"

* * *

6/25/2017

This one's slightly longer than the other one, right? It's not that bad!


	13. The Sorting Hat

《中国》

Yao tried not to smack Raj as the Indian man marched down the Great Hall waving at everyone as if he were some sort of Bollywood celebrity. Yao told himself violence would not be a good first impression on teachers.

His hand twitched.

Finally, they got to the Sorting Hat without any PG-13 gore occurring. Yao breathed a sigh of relief as Raj was called over to the Sorting Hat. The Indian man ran over to the Sorting Hat and put it on, looking very much like a five-year-old child being given a new toy despite technically being more than 4,000 years old.

There were several moments of silence as Raj's face contorted into weird expressions. Yao winced, wishing he had pretended he didn't know Raj and they weren't friends at all, but it was too late for that.

"Gryffindor!"

Raj and the other Gryffindors (especially Harry, Ron, and Hermione) cheered as Raj made is way over to the Gryffindor table, his robes turning red and gold.

"Come up, Yao Wang," One of the Professors, a strict-looking lady, said.

Walking over and sitting down on the stool, Yao suddenly wondered if the hat had lice. Could magical hats have lice? Before he could ask, McGonagall placed the hat on his head and its voice filled Yao's head.

" _Well, well. First India and the China! Looks like it's a party for the old geezers. And was that England I heard over there?_ "

Yao blinked, trying to keep his expression schooled.

" _Yes, I know you're a nation. I can read your mind. Don't worry, I won't tell, though! Now, let's see... wise and intelligent enough to be a Ravenclaw... but you're kind, loyal, dedicated, and hardworking enough to be a Hufflepuff. And look! You value... family._ "

The Hat and Yao shared a moment of sorrowful silence as memories from the past washed over Yao and the Hat read those memories.

" _Hmm... not modest, but..._

"Hufflepuff!"

This was announced out loud. The Hufflepuffs cheered, while over at the Gryffindor table, Yao;s friends looked dejected. Sighing, Yao got up and calmly walked over to the Hufflepuff table as his robes turned black and yellow. There, Cedric clapped him on the back.

"Welcome to Hufflepuff, Yao!"

* * *

6/25/2017

So I think I explained my reasons for sticking Yao in Hufflepuff, and I stuck Raj in Gryffindor because... it... felt right?

And Hufflepuff is totally the best house (in my opinion. Proud Hufflepuff here!) The other founders were being all picky with who they wanted to accept, but Helga Hufflepuff wanted to accept everyone, regardless of their background!

To be honest, that would be what an ideal America would look like, but we've already improved so much, there's definitely hope for the future!

Also, Hufflepuffs are hardworking as well, which is just as good as being smart like Ravenclaws. And the adorable, awkward Newt Scamander is a Hufflepuff too...


	14. Don't bloody well get into any trouble!

《中国》

Just as the lights were about to go out in the Hufflepuff common room, Hannah Abbott ran over and tapped Yao on the arm.

"Professor Kirkland wants to see you," She said, looking a bit nervous.

Ernie Macmillan frowned. He was reclining comfortably on the sofa next to Justin Finch-Fletchley. "But I heard he was in Slytherin! What if-"

"It's fine," Yao assured him. "Profesor Kirkland is the caretaker of Raj and me... for however long we stay in Hogwarts. Our parents are still talking about it."

The truth was, Yao had no idea if a cure to the spell could be found by the end of the year, and he didn't want to go to a world conference the same age as Latvia and Liechtenstein. He could just come to Hogwarts again next year. God knows Harry Potter would need the help.

"Oh," Justin said, still looking nervous. "But if you're not back in an hour... we'll... umm..."

"Get Dumbledore," Ernie said flatly.

Susan Bones pursed her lips. "But Dumbledore was the one that hired Professor Kirkland! We should go look for Yao ourselves!"

"Absolutely not! That is very much against the school rules. Furthermore, I must start reviewing the material in case a pop quiz should come up..."

Sighing in exasperation, Yao left his fellow Hufflepuffs to debate over the best way to "rescue" him should the need arise. As he was about to leave the Hufflepuff common room, Cedric clapped him on the shoulder.

"I know they're kind of... overeager. But we Badgers protect our own, 'kay?"

Yao smiled. "Like a family."

"Like a family," Cedric agreed.

* * *

Outside the cozy Hufflepuff common room, Yao shivered. The hallways were freezing. Another complaint for Dumbledore there.

England was pacing around fuming. The instant he noticed Yao, he opened his mouth, presumably to complain about the lateness, but Yao cut him off.

"My housemates got it into their heads you were going to murder me. I'm not sorry I'm late."

The European nation scowled. "Just hurry up! I want to go talk to Raj to make sure he doesn't try to enter, and I thought things would go smoother if you came."

Yao nodded. They made their way through the winding stairways of Hogwarts, having to backtrack several times, before finally making it to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Ma'am," England said politely, "We need to speak with Raj Ahmadi, so-"

"No!" She shrieked, tearing at her hair. "I do not want to run errands for other people!"

"But isn't that basically your job-"

"Then I quit!"

England groaned. "No! Just let us speak to him, and... umm..."

"No! I refuse! And go shave your eyebrows!"

"Why you bloody-"

The portrait slid open, revealing Fred's grinning face.

Yao breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to spend all evening arguing with a painting. "Thank goodness. Go get Raj for us."

Fred fake-pouted. "No please?"

Raj poked his face over, winking at Yao and England. "Asian parents don't say please."

Fred snickered, before going back in. Seconds later, loud bangs and raucous laughter were heard. It reminded him of the time Hong Kong and Taiwan thought it would be fun to have a fireworks party on Yao's roof. Several arrests and one pair of broken glasses later, the two (Taiwan, at least) were realizing that things didn't work out in reality the way they did in theory.

"Gryffindor is the best house!" Raj proclaimed while England and Yao looked horrified at the sounds. "We have so much fun in here, I bet Slytherin and Hufflepuff aren't a quarter as fun!"

England scowled. "Too much fun is what we're worried about."

Yao grabbed Raj by the ear and dragged him into the hallway while England shut the house door and knocked the Fat Lady out with a quick spell.

"Don't you dare put your name in the Goblet of Fire," Yao growled, twisting Raj's ear. "And make sure Harry and Ron don't try anything!"

"Ow! Let go of me, _mum_. Jeez, I thought it would be better in a different house."

England glared at Raj. "Yao's right. Things will be even more chaotic this year. You're in the same house as Harry, so you must be responsible, do you understand?"

Raj glared back, freeing himself from Yao. "I know! Now let me go back to my dorm."

Yao sighed. "Fine." He gently brushed some of Raj's attached strands of inky hair out of his face. "Be careful, 好吗?"

Raj nodded, his expression softening as he fondly touched Yao's hand before brushing it away. " _Main main tumhen chhod aur kabhee nahin hoga vaada._ "

Stuffing his hands in his pockets with his back slouched, he turned and disappeared into the portrait hole after reviving the Fat Lady.

After he left, England grimaced. "I knew things would go much smoother with you around. But no surprise, considering the colonization."

"Just apologize to him."

England sighed. "My colonization of him modernized him."

"And it took away his pride. But let's not debate amongst ourselves about that for now. We have a 14-year-old boy to keep alive."

* * *

6/26/2017

*Google translates things because I don't know a single word of Hindi*

*Cries*

Also, as of right now, this is my longest story! When I'm done with it, it'll become my longest finished story so far. And then maybe something else will take its spot. This is a constantly changing world, just likes the passing seasons, except I live in California and there aren't really seasons over here.


	15. WTF is going on!

《England》

The students were all buzzing with excitement as the walked into the Great Hall that evening. From his seat at the teacher's table, England could see Raj walking with Harry and his friends, made easily noticeable by the Weasley boy's red hair. England couldn't see Yao, though, probably because of the Chinese nation's height, made even shorter now that he was a teen.

England sighed ruefully, remembering who short he had been when he was a teen. He had also been a little bonkers.

Fred and George, the infamous Weasley twins, had both attempted to put their name in the Goblet, resulting in...

Well, the only thing to be said was that it didn't work.

"How are your classes going?" Professor McGonagall asked, knocking England out of his daydreams.

England smiled. "Oh, they're going wonderfully. My material seems to be well-received by most of the students, although I suppose anything would be good after Professor Binns."

The teachers (minus Snape and Moody, who were scowling) all chuckled.

"Who do you think is going to be our champion?" Madam Pomfrey asked, changing the subject.

Snape snorted. "The Potter boy has probably found some way to smuggle his stupid name in."

England sighed. "I hope not. And I hope none of my charges-" He glanced down at the Gryffindor table to Raj, who was animatedly pantomiming _something_ to Potter and his friends. "-enter. Yes, definitely not."

Dumbledore smiled from behind his snowy white beard. "Well, now is the time to find out!"

Standing up, he clapped his hands for everyone's attention. It took longer than usual for the buzz to die down since today was the day the champions were chosen. As soon as it had, Dumbledore began to talk.

"It is now time to pick our three champions!" Dumbledore announced. "But I'm sure you already knew that. May the best be chosen!" He then gave the Goblet three taps with his wand.

Everyone was dead silent as they stared in anticipation at the Goblet.

It began to rumble, purple and golden flames spewing forth. There was a murmur of awe amongst the crowd. Then, a single slip of paper shot up, which Dumbledore grabbed and read.

"Viktor Krum, representing Durmstrangs!"

Many of the Durmstrangs students cheered for Krum, who England was pretty sure was a famous quidditch player, as he was escorted into a small room in the corner.

The Goblet sputtered again as a hush fell over the room.

"Fleur Delacour, representing Beauxbatons!"

There was a cheer for her to as she, beaming, made her way to the small room escorted by none other than the frog.

England's lip curled at the sight of that stupid, pompous, handsome-

Wait.

Luckily, before he could pursue that train of thought, the Goblet brought out another name.

"Cedric Diggory, a Hufflepuff, representing Hogwarts!"

There was a scream of delight from the Hufflepuff table as Diggory was escorted to the small room by Madam Pomfrey, while the other houses looked disappointed. England smiled. The house rivalry at Hogwarts got serious a lot of times, especially between Gryffindor and Slytherin, though the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs mostly stayed out of it.

"Well," Dumbledore said cheerily, "Those are our three cha-"

The Goblet spluttered again. England felt his heart freeze.

Tentatively, Dumbledore reached out with a shaking hand to grab the new name as the entire hall fell dead silent. The instant Dumbledore saw the name, England could see all the color drain from his face.

"Harry... Potter."

The hall exploded into chaos. The students from the two other schools were screaming that Hogwarts cheated, the Slytherins were screaming about how stupid Potter was, the Ravenclaws were hypothesizing amongst themselves about how this could have happened, the Hufflepuffs were fuming, and the Gryffindors were yelling in delight.

England saw McGonagall glance at Dumbledore, who was trying to calm everyone, before hurrying over to Harry to escort him into the small room.

 _Boom_

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion that silenced everyone out of fear. Jumping, England was about to raise his wand before realizing it was just Moody.

"Everyone shut up!" Moody yelled, both eyes twitching. "Potter's name was probably put in here by someone who wishes him ill. He could die, idiots! Stop whining. So what if Hogwarts has two competitors. Potter's a runty fourth year. Durmstrangs has a famous quidditch player and Beauxbatons has someone who could win one of those muggle beauty competitions. You'll be fine, nitwits."

Dumbledore nodded gratefully. "Yes, indeed. This is just a slight mishap-"

The Goblet sputtered yet again.

England clenched the sides of his seat as he felt the color drain from his face. Dumbledore turned even paler. Reaching forth to grab the name, he read the name of the slip, looked at England, and read the name again.

Dammit, Raj. What in the name of all the founders had he-

"Yao Wang."

The hall exploded into chaos once more, with Yao nearly fainting dead away. England himself felt faint as he gripped the edges of his seat. If it had been Raj he wouldn't have been surprised… but Yao? Something was wrong.

Another loud bang from Moody startled England out of his thoughts and quieted the hall up.

"Do I need to give all you morons the same lecture again?" Moody roared. "Who cares about a runty fourth year? Are you saying your competitors can't beat fourth years?"

The hall was silent. Finally, Snape spoke.

"Perhaps the Wang boy was placed in to compete with, not against Harry. The Wang boy is... an excellent student."

Had this been any other situation, England would have found it very amusing Snape actually complimented on of his students.

Professor Flitwick nodded. "Oh, yes. That's very reasonable, having them as a team. This way, Potter won't die immediately, he can first stir up trouble here at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore sighed wearily. "Yes, that is a good hypothesis. For now... there is little we can do. Potter and Wang are bound to compete, and since they are both still young, they will compete as a team."

"But then they'll have eight years total!" Some Durmstrang idiot protested.

"You ninny!" Moody growled, sounding very much like an enraged bear as his fake eyes spun around wildly. "That's not how it works!"

The student shut up immediately.

Glancing at Dumbledore, who nodded, England got up to escort Yao over the room. Grabbing the deathly pale Chinese from his table, England began to pull him along while talking. He did so in (albeit badly accented) Cantonese to assure more privacy.

" _Yao-_ "

" _I had nothing to do with this,_ " Yao said calmly, a little color having returned to his face. As England opened his mouth to grill Yao further, the Chinese teen cut him off. " _Tell me, England, after knowing me for centuries, do you honestly think I would have something to do with this?_ "

England shook his head mutely.

" _Good. Now go get everything sorted out with Raj. I'll be fine in the room on my own._ "

England nodded, patting Yao on the shoulder. A sudden terrifying thought occurred to him.

" _Yao... you could die. Permanently._ "

Yao smiled sadly. " _What else would I do? Run?_ "

" _Yes._ "

" _Then Potter could die. And he's too young for that. I'm not._ "

* * *

6/26/2017

*Cue dramatic gasps*

I feel bad for destroying the number of four competitors though. See, in Mandarin, "four" is a homophone of the word "death," their tones are just different (Mandarin is a tonal language). That fits perfectly, because, well, R.I.P Cedric. (Spoiler alert, but I guess it's too late for that).


	16. Unwanted

《England》

Fuming, England stormed down the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room. He didn't care if Raj was technically older than he was, Raj had screwed up! Badly.

"One job," England thought angrily, "He had one job. He was literally right next to Harry Potter. Sleeping in the same room."

Suddenly, he thought he heard a soft, whimpering sound. England stopped dead in his tracks. The sound reminded him of how he used to cry as a child when no one wanted him around…

Listening carefully, he found that the sound was coming from a dark corner. Poking his head over, he saw the Weasley boy curled up on the ground whimpering.

England choked on his own spit. He had never been too good when people were crying. The Weasley boy looked up in shock with red, puffy eyes. His expression immediately became shameful and guarded.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" He demanded, quickly wiping his tears away.

"I… heard… umm… do you want a hug?" England mumbled feebly, unsure of how to proceed.

"A 'hug?' What am I, five?"

"Eh… I… talk about it?" England removed a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to the Weasley boy.

"Talk about it?" The Weasley boy snorted, blowing his nose with the handkerchief. "I'm being pathetic right now. Crying over the fact that no one bloody cares about me. You probably don't even know my name."

"I… err… was a bit like you too… eh… Ron, right?" England said awkwardly, not used to trying to comfort someone. He sat down on the cold stone floor next to the Weasley boy, who didn't correct his name, (hopefully) meaning that England got it right.

"What, when you were six?" The Weasley boy scoffed.

England shook his head softly. "No… err… when I was a young adult… I went through some rough times. I hurt a lot of people. I surrounded myself with people, though sometimes they didn't want to hang around me. See, I was trying to make myself feel less alone, but, uh, it didn't work out too well."

Ron glanced at him, his expression becoming less guarded. "Yeah... the thing is, I'm not really important at all. I mean, out of my friends, I'm not the "Chosen One" like Harry is, nor am I super smart like Hermione is. In my family, I'm not a super good Quidditch player, I don't do cool stuff like work with dragons or the ministry, and my mom always wanted a daughter…"

England nodded understandingly, patting Ron's shoulder. Ron smiled faintly.

"Must be tough now that Harry's got even more attention, hmm?"

"Yeah..." He gestured in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. "They're throwing a party in there for him."

England snorted. "Gryffindors."

Ron glared at him. "Hey!"

"Sorry." England chuckled before his mood grew serious again. "You're not unwanted, Ron. You have plenty of amazing qualities. You're a very loyal friend- you stuck with Harry all these years even if it usually brought you to one or two near-death scenarios."

Ron shrugged. "Well, it would have been bad to just throw him off."

"But don't you see? Being that loyal and kind isn't required, but you are anyways. Ron, anyone to call you a friend would be very lucky, and I'm sure all your friends right now know that, you just don't."

Ron looked at him hesitantly. "You think so?"

"Of course. I don't talk just to hear the sound of my own voice, unlike a certain Gilderoy Lockhart..."

Ron laughed, his voice still shaking a little. "Merlin, I still remember him from our second year. It was bloody terrible."

England laughed too, clapping Ron on the shoulder. "Well, better get back to your fellow Gryffindors... and tell them that you heard from your favorite professor that it would be much better in Slytherin."

Ron snorted. "Not even in your dreams! Gryffindor forever!" Getting up, he awkwardly patted England on the shoulder. "Eh... thanks."

England smiled, feeling very old all of the sudden. "No problem. What are professors for, after all?"

Ron smiled again, before turning and making his way back to the Gryffindor common room. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as England watched him leave, the tired nation still sitting against the cold stone wall.

England suddenly realized that the later part of the conversation wasn't as hard for him as talking with people usually was. Then he realized it was because all he did was tell Ron what he would have liked to hear when he was younger.

* * *

6/30/2017

Some moody teens fight with their parents. England, he tries to take over the world.

But I think both Ron and England need a big hug, da?

^J^ ∼ 3


	17. Badgers stick together

《中国》

Sighing, Yao stared sullenly at the fireplace as he slouched deeper into the couch's cozy cushions. This was most definitely his biggest failure since letting Brazil house-sit while he went on vacation with his siblings.

"Hello, Cedric," Yao muttered. "And Ernie, Justin, Susan, and Hannah."

There were some yelps of shock from behind him.

"How did you know?" Hannah squeaked.

"I heard you."

"Right," Ernie said hesitantly, "But how did you know it was us specifically?"

"You were whispering. Loudly."

"Right," Cedric sounded a bit embarrassed as he walked into Yao's field of vision with the others and sat down on the couch beside you. "Hey, Yao... you know I'm not upset with you about the whole Tournament fiasco, right?"

Yao smiled faintly. "You're a Hufflepuff."

Cedric laughed. "Yeah."

"You know... I originally thought that Harry had done something..." Ernie muttered. "But then you got chosen too, and since you wouldn't do anything like this..."

Susan nodded enthusiastically. "Hufflepuff is behind Team Yao and Harry all the way! Umm… Team Yarry? Team Harrao?"

"And Team Cedric too!" Hannah added.

Yao's smile deepened. "Thanks, you guys."

"After all..." Justin grinned.

"Badgers stick together!" The younger kids chorused.

Cedric chuckled. "It's nice to know that we have such a nice Badger family supporting us, right, Yao?"

Yao nodded, feeling warm inside. They reminded him of his little siblings...

"Though we still haven't figured out how to deal with that evil Slytherin professor with the ugly eyebrows..." Ernie grumbled.

"And that Gryffindor guy that likes to pop over here to bother Yao and dance seems really suspicious too..." Justin added.

Yao sighed in exasperation as they began to develop half-baked plans on how to get rid of Raj and Opium. They really were like his little siblings. Eyes gazing over, the ancient nation thought back to that one time when Rome came over and Yao's sweet little Kiku attacked the Western nation with a toy katana in order to "protect his precious nii-san from foul Westerners."

That had been the first time Yao had seen his dear little brother use his katana in the field. The last time had been in an old city stinking of blood and swarming with officers that had forgotten kindness. Screams of frightened girls pierced the air and the river next to it was filled with blood and bodies. Yao's entire body- especially his fresh scar- had ached so badly. As had his heart at the thought of fighting his little brother.

But he had needed to protect his people from the invading empire.

It had been the first time his little brother had beaten him in combat. Yao remembered laying against the wall with the bloodstained boot on his bleeding chest, forcing him down. He remembered Kiku's cold sneer and even colder, his words.

" _I can't believe I ever looked up to you._ "

"Yao!"

Someone was prodding his side. It was Cedric, looking concerned. Next to them, the younger kids were still plotting.

"Are you okay?" Cedric looked worried.

Yao blinked away the beginnings of tears in his ancient amber eyes. "我还好. I was just... remembering."

Cedric smiled. "I'm glad you're okay. Hey, you know if you have anything you want to talk about, you can come to any of us, right?"

Yao nodded as Cedric continued, "After all, we Hufflepuffs are family."

"Of course," Yao muttered, fiddling with his hair.

"Really," Cedric insisted, looking at Yao with serious, kind eyes. "We'll never abandon each other."

Yao's heart broke. In the cozy common room with a flickering hearth and smiling faces, Yao wanted to believe it, but he had learned to never say never. People were selfish and the world was cruel. Someday, this promise would be forgotten.

"Okay," Yao whispered.

Cedric clapped Yao on the back before getting up and shooing everyone to bed. Before going back to the dorms, he glanced at Yao.

"You coming?"

Yao nodded distantly. "Yeah... I just want to be alone for a little bit..."

"Okay. I've said this before, but if you ever want to talk, you've got an entire house to talk to."

"I know."

"Good. G'night!"

As Cedric's footsteps faded once more, Yao realized that his memories from his time as a Hufflepuff would plague him his entire life. Not because they were bad, but because they were too good to last.

* * *

6/30/2017

Poor Yao-yao...

But at least now the Hufflepuffs and Ron won't be antagonistic towards Harry, thanks to Yao and Iggy! Of course, there are still the Ravenclaws and Slytherins, so don't get too excited...

And, eh, sorry if this chapter's kinda boring? Next chapter will have fun stuff like murdering spiders to make it up to you guys.


	18. Torture, control, and death

《中国》

"Yaaaaaaaaaoooooooo!"

Exasperated, Yao turned around to glare at Raj who was running up to him along with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

" _Aiya_... is it because I let you around Yong Soo too much that he turned out the way he did? What do you want?"

"Wasn't Profesor Opium's class so boring?" Raj whined. "Transfiguration was boring too!"

Yao scowled. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff had three mandatory classes together this year, meaning he had to put up with Raj delightedly talking about how he was so glad he didn't have thick eyebrows and the two other boys, Ron and Harry, being plain stupid.

No wonder they weren't in Ravenclaw.

"Guys, I've been meaning to ask you, why do you call Profesor Kirkland 'Opium?'" Harry asked curiously as they walked together to their next class.

"Eh..."

"这个..."

"Is it because of the Opium Wars?" Hermione inquired.

" _Haan_!"

"是的!"

The boys seemed satisfied with this answer, but Hermione kept prodding. "But you only call him Opium. Why not any nicknames for this rest of us?"

"Eh... he just seemed like an Opium..." Raj squeaked. "You know... his eyebrows are so... opium-y. Yeah. I get high just by looking at them."

Yao facepalmed.

Hermione didn't look quite satisfied, but they had gotten to their next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, so she laid off. Yao noticed with surprise that Neville Longbottom seemed to be hyperventilating outside the classroom.

"What's wrong, Neville?" Harry asked, looking worried for his friend.

Neville mumbled something inaudible.

"Didn't quite catch that."

"There's a rumor Professor Moody is teaching us about the Three Unforgivable Curses." It was Ernie, who had walked up along with his friend Justin, that had answered.

Yao felt a wave of shock wash over him. "The Unforgivable Curses? Teach them? To children? I must go immediately to complain to Dumbledore about this! Children should be taught appropriate spells to protect themselves, not how to torture, control, or kill somebody!"

He stopped his rant when he realized Neville had whimpered at the word "tortured." Of course. He remembered now that the Longbottom parents had been tortured by Voldemort to the point of insanity.

Raj sighed. "Well, we unfortunately can't skip class. Don't worry, Neville. After this Yao will go complain to Dumbledore and we'll never get creepy classes like this again, okay?"

Yao nodded, gently patting Neville's shaking shoulders. Neville managed a weak smile.

"Yeah, it'll be fine, mate," Ron agreed, despite looking a bit confused.

"We'd better get into class before the scary professor marks us tardy," Justin mumbled, clapping Neville on the shoulder.

Neville nodded, still looking pale, and the group walked inside. The first thing Yao noticed was that the classroom had a suspicious odor to it. Yao's nose wrinkled. There was a pirckling sensation in his back. Something wasn't right about this professor.

Then Yao noticed that on the Professor's desk there was a cage with three spiders in it.

Jade Emperor, he wasn't actually going to show the kids the curses on living things, was he?

"You're here!" Professor Moody scowled.

Ernie and Hermione looked absolutely humiliated at being slightly late to class. Yao also felt slightly ashamed. After all, he wanted to maintain his reputation as a 好学生, or good student. But comforting Neville had been worth being late to Professor Creepmeister's class.

Professor Moody glared at them with his good eyes as his fake eye whirled around, making Yao slightly nauseous, as the group quickly sat down. As soon as they had, Professor Moody began talking.

"Today, we're going to learn about the Three Unforgivable Curses. Can anyone te-"

Hermione's hand shot straight up.

"Other than Granger."

Hermione slumped in her seat. Ernie and Yao eagerly raised their hands.

"Other than the smart kids! Are you nitwits bloody stupid?"

There were several squeaks of terror. Ernie looked disappointed while Yao felt disappointed.

Raj raised his hand in an imitation of Hermione. "Ooh! Ooh! Profesor! Profesor! Pick me!"

Yao kicked him from under the table, and judging from the feeling of another leg joining in his assault, Hermione had too.

Raj wailed in pain, pretending to slump over dramatically.

Professor Moody glared at him. "Well, Ahmadi, since you seem so eager to answer..."

Raj looked like he was drawing a blank. While the rest of the class laughed, Yao knew that Raj was faking. He kicked Raj again.

"快! Answer!"

"Fine, _mum_. The Three Unforgivable Curses are unforgivable!" Raj looked very proud of himself. Professor Moody looked like he wanted to use one of the curses on Raj. "It's as unforgivable as... umm... Ivan marrying someone else other than Natalya!"

"Very good job," Professor Moody growled. Raj gulped. "I'm sure you would be happy to keep enlightening me with your wisdom... in detention."

Raj wailed on protest. Harry leaned over to Yao.

"Who are Ivan and Natalya?"

"The psycho yandere stalker killer siblings," Raj answered for Yao. "See, Natalya wants to marry Ivan. And Ivan... asked Yao to marry him one time as a kid? I dunno. They're weird."

Harry looked even more lost. "You said they were siblings, but Natalya-"

"It's complicated," Yao interrupted. "Shh. Professor Moody's talking again."

"The Unforgivable Curses are illegal curses." Professor Moody was saying. "As Raj so kindly told us, they are unforgivable. I will now demonstrate to you all of them. The first one..." He took out a spider, which scrambled desperately in his hand as if it knew its sad fate.

Yao wondered if America would have protested had he been here. Americans seemed to love animals, but Yao wasn't sure if spiders counted.

"The imperious curse!" Professor Moody announced. " _Imperio_!"

With a flash of red light, the spider stopped scrambling. It stood still in Professor Moody's hand, like a soldier waiting for his orders.

"With this, you can control another's mind. I can have the spider kill itself..." The spider stabbed itself with its arms. "And it would!"

Hannah screamed in terror, the sound piercing Yao's heart. Neville looked like he was going to throw up. Yao felt sick. What kind of professor was this?

Professor Moody spelled the spider away, looking entirely uncaring of its gruesome fate. He brought out another spider.

"The next curse... the cruciatus curse! _Crucio_!"

With a flash of blue light, the spider began to twitch violently in the air. Looking over to Neville, Yao saw the trembling boy huddled with his hands over his head and Ron trying to comfort him, a terrified look on his own face.

" _Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!_ "

" _Portego_!" Yao screamed, casting a shielding spell between the spider and Professor Moody.

The spider fell limp to the desk. The entire room fell dead silent as everyone stared at Yao in horror.

"Wang!" Professor Moody roared, looking furious. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

"Stopping you from needlessly torturing a spider!" Yao glared at Professor Moody definitely. "There are plenty of ways you could have taught us, but you had to choose the cruelest way!"

Professor Moody scowled, looking like he was going to back down. Yao felt an immense sense of relief.

Then Professor Moody lifted his wand.

" _Avada kedavra_!"

Yao yelled, lunging towards the desk before a pair of strong, familiar arms pulled him back. Many students screamed in terror.

The green light hit the spider, killing it instantly. It fell limp on the desk, its legs sticking up in the air as if trying to reach upwards in hope.

Yao struggled a little, feeling ill at the unnecessary death and the sheer fear he could see in the children. This... it was like those killing competitions the invading Japanese soldiers had held in Nanjing... his precious Kiku, watching with dead eyes... tiny Mei, having come over to try to meditate things between her big brothers... her scream... Hannah...

Raj was rocking Yao gently as he held the petite man tightly against his chest.

" _Yao. What were you doing_?" He whispered in Latin to stop any eavesdropping. " _This is something Alfie would do, not you... Yao, why_?"

Yao broke free of Raj, slumping back in his own seat and ignoring the curious glances. He switched back to English. "The kids... they were terrified."

The Chinese nation jumped when Hannah gave him a hug. "Things will be fine!"

Neville nodded, though he was still trembling from head to toe. "Y-yeah. Thanks for... saying something..."

Even Professor Moody looked a bit guilty. Rummaging through his desk, he pulled out a herbology book and tossed it at Neville.

"Here, child. Stay strong."

Neville fumbled with it before managing to catch it. "Th-thanks!" He smiled.

Yao breathed a sigh of relief as Professor Moody then dismissed the class. It was over. But Dumbledore was going to get an earful about this.

* * *

6/30/2017

Yay, Mama Yao! Protect all the sweet little babies!

And I think he and Neville need a hug, no? I've tortured poor Yao-yao for several chapters now... I think it's time to stop.


	19. Harbinger of bad news and failed spells

Just a quick warning, this chapter has one sentence with foul language in it, courtesy of cute lil' Romano∼

* * *

《England》

Unfastening his tie with a weary groan, England stomped into Dumbledore's office with his classic scowl on his face.

The headmaster looked up from his book, appearing amused. He was reclining comfortably behind his desk, which was cluttered with enough things to make a museum jealous. Next to the desk in its perch, Fawkes was primly grooming itself.

"What's got you so worked up, England?"

Said nation huffed. "Every time you call me by my nation name I'm reminded of how you somehow found out about the nation personifications and what an earful Germany gave Scotty and me afterward. Please, call me Arthur."

"Very well then. Arthur, please don't tell me you've come to scold me like Chi- Yao. He came in earlier to yell at me about safety in school." Dumbledore twisted up his face and made his voice higher, producing a very disturbing effect. "' _Aiya, students need to sit at a desk all day and not do anything! That's how they'll learn!_ '" He switched back to his normal voice. "The dementors were required by the Ministry! And Moody just needs a little adjusting, he is absolutely not 'a psychopath that needs a restraining order!' You know, I'm going to have nightmares about Yao!"

England shrugged, pulling up a chair and deciding to pull a Switzerland and remain neutral. Both Yao and Dumbledore weren't people you wanted to argue with if they really believed in something.

"He grabbed me by my ear! My ear, Arthur! Like I was five! Then he sacked a bunch of legal junk on me. Can you believe it?"

England was suddenly reminded of teenagers complaining to their friends about people they hated.

"And when I tried to get him to leave, he went on a full blown rant about how he was a 4,000 years old and had been a powerful nation before Hogwarts was even invented! Age means nothing! I tried to tell him that, but then he rained a bunch of Confucian stuff on me. Merlin! I need to find an excuse to expel him."

Apparently, age did mean nothing, as proven by Dumbledore's complaining. England's great respect for Dumbledore was the only thing keeping him from snapping, but even then...

"And then he threatened to sue the school! Ridiculous. Nobody has died in quite a long time. He's being so mean and my hair is better than his, I can't believe it-"

"This is all bloody wonderful," England interrupted before his temptation to murder someone became too strong, "But if you wanted someone to complai- er, talk to... well, that someone can't be me."

Dumbledore magically seemed to switch back to his normal "wise old wizard" demeanor. "Of course, Arthur. What are you here for?"

England internally took a moment to send a prayer of thanks to all the deities there ever were, before speaking.

"I came to tell you I'm going to tell the other nations about... Yao and the Tournament. They already know about the mission and they're covering for Yao and Raj with their bosses, but… they don't know how they're entirely human."

"A very important detail."

"Indeed… I'm going outside the ground to apparate over." England swallowed. "There's a conference in Berlin right now, so it's quite convenient. Eh... rip off the bandage, so to speak."

"You sound nervous."

"Yeah... some won't take the fact that he's being put into potentially fatal danger well... especially now that he's fully human."

"You could bring Francis. He came with Beauxbatons-"

England grimaced. "Don't remind me. Bloody frog drops by my office every day in order to pester me."

"Mmhmm. I'll get the wedding arrangements ready. And he is pretty charismatic, so he could calm the upset nations down."

England sighed solemnly, choosing to ignore the wedding comment. "But this thing wasn't his responsibility. I don't want him to get caught in the crossfire."

"Still as responsible as ever, I see. But how bad could it really be?"

The nation snorted. "Oh, you haven't met the nations yet..."

* * *

With a crack, England apparated into the world conference room at Berlin. Unfortunately, he managed to apparate in the air right above Mexico.

He fell right into the lap of the North American nation, causing the two to yell in pain. England quickly rolled off onto the ground, giving him a clear view of Mexico's furious face. He gulped.

Before he could stammer out some form of an apology, the fuming nation was already pulling a frying pan on him. Yelping, England hopped up and ran. Screw dignity, he didn't want to die by frying pan.

There was a burst of familiar laughter. "Yo, Iggy! Man, I didn't know you had the hots for Mexico-"

"I don't!" England screamed angrily as ran around the room trying to dodge blows from something that most certainly be considered a deadly weapon. Honestly, China, Hungary, Mexico...

Belgium giggled. "Of course he doesn't! Because he likes France!"

"I bloody don't-"

"England-san, you are being quite a tsundere-"

"Yo, Iggs, can you tell gramps Mei, Cheng, and I are substituting for him? He might be kinda pissed, but we, like, don't care, so..."

" _Uri nara mansae!_ "

"Everyone shut up!" Germany roared, slamming his fists on the table.

Iran nodded, his dark brown eyes giving England a look that could put someone six feet under. "As fun as it would be to beat up England… well, a) it would be more fun to beat up America-" Aforementioned nation wailed in protest. "-and b) we have more important things than him."

With a moody glare in the direction of Germany and England, Mexico stomped back to her seat. Canada nervously gave her a mini pancake, possibly as a peace offering in his old guardian's favor.

England breathed a sigh of relief, remain standing. "Thank you-"

"No thank _you_!" Israel snapped. "We were just making some progress-"

"Progress originated in Korea, da-ze!"

"Oh, shut up," Israel growled.

South Korea bit his lip, staring at Israel with big, sad eyes like a baby seal.

England felt sorry that China to deal with saying no to that baby-animal-like face while raising South Korea.

"Don't be mean, Izzy," America chided.

"Fine, big brother," Israel grumbled.

Germany sighed, massaging his temple with two fingers. "Nonetheless, Israel is right. We were actually making progress. England, it had better be important."

England gulped. "Well... I would first like to say that I have done everything I could to prevent such this situation from occurring-"

"Spit it out!" Pakistan yelled.

" _HarryPotterandChinagotenteredintoadeathtournamentthatcouldverywellkillthemandithasalreadykilledabunchofpeoplebefore_." England took a deep breath. "So if there's anything you've always wanted to say to China... you should say it now."

There was a moment of shocked silence, the calm before the storm.

"WHAT?" Scotland screamed, his face turning a shade of red matching his hair. "You... I can't believe…"

"I thought your whole mission was to protect Potter!" Germany roared. "And now he's in a death game? And so is China?" Germany punched the table, probably pretending it was England's face. "Do you have any idea what the political recuperations are? And... what if something happened to him? Mein Gott..." Germany looked a few shades paler.

" _Kolkolkolkolkolkol_..."

Taiwan burst into tears, rapidly followed by South Korea and Italy. Macau looked horrified. Japan turned as pale as death. Pakistan and America looked furious.

Hong Kong, on the other hand, scoffed. Despite his arrogant demeanor, England could sense his veiled fear and worry from years of experience with him.

"Yo, he's immortal." Hong Kong's voice was trembling as if he was begging for it to be true. "Stop jerking is around."

Norway tilted his head back and covered his face with his hands with a soft groan. Romania's red eyes darted around nervously. "Well..."

Wales shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Maybe... not anymore?"

"You idiots!" Pakistan screamed.

"You fucking shitty McFucknugget bastards-"

" _Dios_ , China's government is gonna be so pissed. You guys are screwed if he dies. What are you going to say to his boss? 'Oh, your nation personification may or may not have died in British death games. Our bad.'"

Taiwan was crying even louder now, sobbing into Macau's shoulder, who also looked distressed.

"I thought you were on bad terms with China..." England mumbled, demonstrating his incredibly (bad) social skills.

"He's still my big brother Yao!" Taiwan wailed through her tears. "No matter what happens politically, he was the one that bought me pretty clothes and sat with me when I was scared during storms! It's... not fair! This is all your fault!"

Glaring at England with red eyes, Taiwan marched forwards and slapped him in the face despite Macau's attempts to restrain her. England flinched from the pain, but part of him felt like he could have prevented it. He had thousands of years of experience and he had been in home territory. Surely...

"Mei-mei," Macau said gently, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "England didn't want this either. Besides, Yao-哥哥 is tough. He'll... he'll be okay."

Taiwan leaned against Macau's shoulder sniffling. South Korea joined in the jug, picking the two clean off the ground. Hong Kong and Japan stood to the side, looking hesitant and pale.

Pakistan scowled. "Yeah, well..." He glared at England. "Yao's a good friend. If something happens..." He took a deep breath, eyes briefly flickering shut. "Please at least tell me that my broth-" He stiffened. "No, that idiot India... he isn't my..." He punched the table. "Look, just tell me that he hasn't gotten turned into a werewolf or something, okay?"

England shook his head, glad to at least be able to deliver one piece of good news. "No... he's the same as always."

Pakistan looked relieved, though he quickly tried to wipe that expression off his face.

"Well," Germany said gruffly, looking quite worried for China himself, "We'll have to cancel this world meeting."

Israel nodded. "No way anyone can concentrate anymore. Thanks ever so much for your lasting contribution to this meeting, Iggy."

The nations began to disperse, a few glaring at England. He didn't mind though. Considering that these were the nation personifications, it could have been a lot worse.

Sighing, he disapparated back with a crack. He still had work to do.

* * *

7/5/2017

The exciting part of the story is coming soon in just a few chapters... finally, what you've been waiting for... dragons, mermaids, and rigged cups...

Basically, the actual tasks instead of me being sadistic and torturing the characters.


	20. A helping hand

《England》

The misty morning air was cool on England's cheek, shrouding the world in a veil of shadow and mystery. Hogwarts loomed out of the fog like a king's castle. Watching it from beside the lake, England felt an enormous sense of pride swelling up from his chest.

Reminding himself what he needed to do, he looked around for Harry. As fate would have it, the boy was strolling by himself nearby.

"Potter!"

The aforementioned boy looked over, before jogging over to meet England. His jet black hair was ruffled, though it always seemed to be that way. The rest of him didn't look much better. His glasses were crooked and his clothes were rumpled. Maybe Yao would be good for the boy.

"Hello, Professor Kirkland." Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Am I in trouble?"

England smiled warmly. "Oh, no. I just wanted to give you a tad bit of advice, that's all."

Harry frowned, tilting his head. "Advice? About the tournament?"

"Yes. I'll cut right to the chase- the first task has to do with dragons."

Upon the news, Harry's jaw dropped so low it must have broken a world record.

"The headmasters of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons probably have already told their champions, but Dumbledore is honest." England sighed. "It's only fair that you know. And..."

"You don't want Yao and me to get hurt."

England nodded.

Harry smiled. "Well, thanks, Professor." He bit his lip. "But how are Yao and I going to deal with dragons?"

"Well..." England hesitated, before deciding that the entire tournament had been weird and some advice couldn't hurt. "If you are facing a Chinese dragon, Yao would be able to talk it done- er, the magic school in China teaches its students how to tame Chinese dragons. However, if not... use your strengths."

"Huh?"

"Yao's agile, and you..." England paused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "You're good on a broom, aren't you?"

Harry's green eyes lit up. "Of course! Thanks, professor!" With that, the black-haired boy sprinted off.

England breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe Harry and Yao would be fine. Yao was powerful from 4,000 years of experience and Harry had survived Voldemort multiple times. Yes, nothing would happen.

* * *

7/6/2017

Yes, I know Hagrid told Harry about the dragons in the book. But Iggy's got to do something in my story other than cause problems, right?

And sorry if this chapter was bland. I'll make it up to you guys with the next chapter!


	21. The Howler (with love from family)

《Harry Potter》

Harry stared blankly at his breakfast. It had Chinese food. Yao had spent the last few days teaching the house elves how to cook it. It also had traditional Hogwarts food. None of it looked appetizing to Harry.

Today was the day of the first task.

"Eat something, mate," Ron, who was stuffing his mouth with pancakes, advised.

Yao, who came over to the Gryffindor table every morning to fuss over Harry, nodded. "对呀. If you do not have enough in your stomach, you won't be strong enough! Eat!"

The Chinese teen then proceeded to dump enough food for a squadron of troops on Harry's plate.

"Now, did you ask your ancestors for luck?"

"Wha-?"

"Aiya! Stupid Western boys! But don't worry, I asked them for you and- why aren't you eating? 多吃点儿!"

Harry quickly tried to stuff everything in his mouth at the same time. Ron and Raj snickered.

Yao looked horrified. "Aiya! Why are you eating so much?"

"But-"

"Do you want to be too bloated to compete, hmm? Aiya, how did you survive all these years? And did you study?"

"Didn't Professor McGonagall say that exams were canceled for the champ-"

"That is no excuse not to study! And eat more!"

Cho Chang, who was walking by with her friend, giggled. "Asian parents." She smiled brightly at Harry. "Good luck!"

Harry suddenly realized that Cho was the only one from another house to wish him good luck. Then he realized how beautiful she was. And then he noticed that she had said Yao was his parent, or at least a parental figure. Harry had to agree. The Chinese boy was like a parental figure to Harry, the nagging, though annoying at times, really pushing the feeling in.

From the Ravenclaw table, Harry heard Cho laugh, stirring a warm feeling up in his chest. She was nice. And beautiful. And she had a nice laugh.

Yao was still ranting.

"You know, back in my day, children were honored when they were able to bring honor to their parents! Now they're all on Facechat and Snapagram and Instabook!"

Would Cho be impressed with him if he won the tournament? It would be a big accomplishment. He could even use the prize money to buy her a gift.

There was a sharp tug at Harry's ear, the cause being an angry Yao.

" _Aiya_! Why aren't you listening? So disrespectful-"

"A howler!" Seamus howled suddenly, pointing up at the ceiling.

Indeed, a crane flying in, carrying a howler and a large package. It landed straight before Yao, who fed the crane some rice and reluctantly opened the howler.

For some reason, there was no immediate screaming, but a cool, robotic female voice.

"Translated from: Mandarin, Cantonese, and Korean by MagiTranslationsInc."

Then a far less cool female voice began screaming.

 _"Big brother! OMG! We are so worried about you! You'd better not die, okay? Cheng and Li Xiang don't have the same good taste in cute stuff as you do, so they can't buy me anything adorable!"_

Then the female voice burst out sobbing.

 _"Please don't die!"_

A calm male voice came on.

 _"Mei, Li Xiang, Yong Soo... I don't think a howler is the best way to reach elder brother."_

 _"Uri nara mansae! Howlers originated in Korea, da-ze! I love you, big brother!"_

 _"Like, it's fine. Ugh, you worry too much, Cheng. And, like, don't die, grandpa. Mei will cry too much."_

 _"Li Xiang! You're so mean! I can't believe it! But this gives me an idea for a new doujinshi-"_

 _"Elder brother, we have informed Hyung Soo of your predicament. He should have sent a letter over."_

 _"I love you! I love you! I love you!"_

 _"Like, I wish you knew how to take selfies. Then you could take some during the tournament. They would get so many likes."_

 _"Li Xiang, you know full well that would be very risky. Please be careful, elder brother."_

 _"Ooh, and we sent you a beautiful gown for the Yule Ball! I designed it myself, so you'd better wear it!"_

Harry wondered what the Yule Ball was. And if Yao's family was writing from an insane asylum.

 _"It's like, actually not that girly. I mean, by Ancient Chinese standards."_

 _"Elder brother, there's something I'm very worried about. Ivan keeps on coming over to our house to lay on your bed and smell your clothing."_

Harry choked. Was this the same Ivan in that weird "Natalya wants to marry Ivan" thing?

 _"But big brother loves me more than he loves Ivan!"_

 _"Should we make him leave, elder brother?"_

 _"And, like, when he heard about the Yule Ball he got this weird expression on his face-"_

 _"That gives me an idea for a doujinshi! I love you, big brother!"_

 _"I love you, elder brother. Please come home safely."_

 _"I love you! I love you! I love you!"_

 _"Like, whatever. Just... like... come back, 'kay"_

 _"We love you!"_

The Howler than burst into flames, filling the room with a floral scent for some reason. Raj looked mildly alarmed. Everyone else looked as if they were unsure whether to laugh or not.

Yao, however, stared affectionately at the pile of flower-scented ashes the howler had created.

"Who were they?" Hermione asked as the conversation began to resume in the hall, with some glances cast over at Yao.

"Four of my little siblings." Yao smiled fondly, a little sorrow in his eyes. "Things have been... a little rough with my family as of late. I'm happy they took the time to send me something."

"And a warning!" Raj declared. "About Ivan, come to take Yao's purity!" He slung his arm around Yao boldly. "But I'll protect you!"

Yao smacked Raj in the head, causing the Indian teen to act overly dramatic about his "wounded heart."

"How many siblings do you have?" Ron asked.

"Six. Three of them are adopted. I also have a lot of little cousins."

Ron's eyes lit up. "Hey! That's just like my family!"

Yao nodded, chuckling.

"What's the Yule Ball?" Harry asked, suddenly being reminded to when Yao put the package in his lap.

"A ball between the first and second tasks," Raj answered cheerfully. "And Yao's going with me!" He lost a bet to me several thous- er, five. Yeah. Five years. Five years ago."

Yao huffed. "I promised this 笨蛋 I would dance with him someday."

"And I will ensure that Ivan, who I am better friends with than you, will not dance with you!"

"Aiya, that sentence right there had so many annoying bits-"

Suddenly, McGonagall tapped her teacup with her spoon. The hall fell silent. Harry felt like throwing up all the food he had eaten.

Dumbledore stood up. "If the champions will please follow Ludo Bagman-" The man, who Harry recognized from the Quidditch match, waved with a large grin on his face. "It is time for the first task!"

* * *

7/7/2017

The first task! Finally, after 21 chapters of messing around.

About the Asian parents joke... well, my grandma is like that. One second it's " _aiya_ eat more!" and the next it's " _aiya_ stop eating so much!" I'm pretty sure a lot of Asian parents are like that, so...

The nations in the howler were Hong Kong, Taiwan, South Korea, and Macau. The one referring to China as "elder brother" and basically being the into sane one was Macau. The one talking about doujinshis, dresses, and sounding like a sweet little princess was Taiwan. The one talking in valley girl and sounding like an emo teen was Hong one constantly declaring his love was South Korea.

Also, about my new crackship (India x China)... India is really old, China is really old, so... like... they've known each other really long? Long enough for China to lose a bet and have to dance with India. I mean, together, they've seen a bunch of nations come and go... the glory of the ancient times, the westernization and colonization, etc. And they've both really influenced Asian culture. There. _Mi lógica._

There's this Deviantart artist with some cute IndoChu (that's a good ship name, courtesy of moi!) art called Pinkalala, and they didn't pay me to advertise them, so... maybe check it out?

And (spoiler alert) Russia will make a cameo, as suggested. Japan and America will make a cameo later on, and maybe some others?


	22. The First Task approaches

《Harry Potter》

"Hello!" Ludo Bagman, a blue-eyed, blonde man with a rosy skin, looked as chipper as can be as he walked into the competitors' tent. A woman with jeweled cat eye glasses was following behind him, a quill in one hand and a parchment in another. She also looked quite cheerful.

Sadly, Harry could not share those feelings. Outside, he could hear the excited buzz of the crowd. Maybe some were even placing bets on who was going to die. The odds were the ones who betted that Harry and Yao were hitting the bucket would be going back to their dorms with full pockets. After all, Harry's best weapon was a cleaning tool (a.k.a. a broomstick) and Yao was holding a calico cat. Sure, they had a plan, but...

"I'm here to explain the rules," Bagman said. He was bouncing a box up and down using one hand. "There will be a dragon!"

No one looked surprised. Harry, after receiving a tip from Professor Kirkland, had already told Cedric.

"Your job will be to get a golden egg from it! But be warned, the golden egg is hidden with other eggs, so the dragon will defend it fiercely."

Yao raised his hand, with an expression on his face that distinctly looked like the one he wore before he had marched up to Dumbledore's office to yell at him. Harry gulped.

"Is it possible the eggs will be harmed? Do you have any safeguards put into place for them?"

Bagman chuckled. "Well, my dear child-" Yao scowled. "We would take off points of the eggs were to get harmed, but... well... No one will miss a dragon anyway, right?"

Yao looked outraged. "I'll have you know, dragons are sacred in Chinese culture! They are wonderful beings that should be protected at all costs! Why-"

"You are Yao Wang, correct?" The lady said, readying a quill and parchment. "I'm Rita Skeeter-, a journalist. May I ask you-"

"No," Yao said flatly.

"What is your view on international laws protecting dragons?"

"Well, the laws need to be more strict to prevent illegal trafficking of dragon parts-"

"Then how would we manufacture required things made out of dragon parts?"

"There are many ways this-"

"So you have no idea then?"

Yao looked outraged. His cat hissed. "What? No!"

Skeeter was already writing- or, rather, her quill was writing by itself and she was simply dictating. _"Yao Wang, one of the Hogwarts competitors, has nothing but half-baked opinions."_

"You stupid hag!" Yao shouted. "You didn't even give me a chance to answer!"

Skeeter ignored him and continued dictating. _"He is also a very rude and aggressive boy- perhaps that is what contributed to his transfer to Hogwarts?"_

Harry remembered there was a muggle thing like the what Skeeter had with her quill, called "dictation," but decided that now might not be an appropriate time to bring that up.

Skeeter stopped dictating to interrogate Yao again. "I heard that Professor Kirkland is taking care of you during your stay here. What happened to your parents?"

"They have actual jobs where they actually do useful things," Yao growled, "Unlike you."

 _"His parents are extremely busy with their jobs and have ignored Wang his entire life, causing him to become sharp and bitter."_

Yao snarled, shoving the cat at Harry and standing up, stomping towards Skeeter. Cedric quickly restrained him.

"Calm down," Cedric begged.

Bagman laughed nervously. "Y-yes. Perhaps we should postpone the interviews till later-"

"Or never," Viktor muttered.

Everyone stared at him. Skeeter looked shocked. He shrugged.

"Well, she is a bit... dishonest?"

" _Oui_ ," Fleur said primly. "I vould rather not."

"Definitely not," Yao hissed and Harry nodded in agreement. The cat in his arms meowed approvingly.

"Ehmm..." Cedric looked awkward. "It would be a little rude-"

"Rude?" Fleur sniffled. "She eez rude!"

"I'll do the interview," Cedric muttered.

Yao sighed, plopping back into his chair. " _Aiya_ , you're too nice. You know, it's usually the people that are this nice that get killed."

Cedric laughed awkwardly, probably unsure of how to respond to the death prophecy.

Skeeter looked like she wanted to protest the mass refusals of interviews, but Bagman quickly waved her out. Wiping the sweat from his brow and glancing nervously at Yao, he began talking again.

"Now that that's all settled, time to pick your dragons! Or pick your poison, as they say." Bagman burst out laughing. Cedric gave a weak chuckle. Bagman kept laughing. And laughing.

For what must have been a full three minutes, the competitors sat in the large tent listening to Bagman laugh at his own joke. It was a wonderful bonding moment for all of them.

Finally, Bagman stopped, his laughs turning into wheezes. He held out the box to Viktor.

The Bulgarian Quidditch player looked a little hesitant going anywhere near Bagman, but he opened the box and grabbed out a slip. Around the dragon's neck was the number two.

Yao groaned quietly.

"He got the Chinese fireball," Yao whispered in his Harry's ear. "That's the type of dragon I'm experienced in dealing with.

Cedric went next. He pulled out a dragon with the number four around its neck.

Yao wailed in distress. "Aiya! That's an unlucky number!"

Cedric patted Yao on the shoulder. "I'll be fine."

"But the number four is a homophone with the word for death in Chinese!" Right before Harry's eyes, Yao seemed to be having a panic attack about an unlucky number. Great. Harry knew Yao was smart, but the fact that his teammate was panicking about numbers...

The cat meowed.

Fleur poked him, indicating that it was his turn. She already had a dragon in her delicate hand.

Harry quickly grabbed the remaining dragon. He recognized it from one of the dragon books Hagrid had shown him. It has a Hungarian Horntail. The miniature dragon also had the number three around his neck.

"Well," Bagman announced brightly, doing his best to ignore the panicking Yao. "It's time for the games to begin! Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor." He burst of laughing again... "Th-that was a quote from a Muggle book m-my niece is doing research on for her muggle studies class!" He continued laughing, nearly collapsing and having to grab a nearby table for support.

Yao burst into tears, pulling Cedric into a tight hug.

Fleur checked her hair using a small makeup mirror. Viktor peeked into the mirror to check his own hair.

 _Meow_

The cat stared at Harry with unblinking eyes. Harry groaned. Maybe it would be better if the dragon killed him.

* * *

7/12/2017

Okay, so I know I changed up the order the competitors go in, because... well... I think it's explained, isn't it? (Hint: Cedric, death)

And yes, I skipped some parts. But again, if you wanted the books, read the books! Not a fanfiction by an antisocial girl that would huddle in her room all day if it wasn't for the fact that the wifi signal is bad there.


	23. The (actual) First Task

《इंडिया》

"If they die, how do you think they would like their funerals to be?" Ron asked bleakly.

"Don't be negative," Raj muttered, while Hermione wailed.

However, despite his words, Raj still felt terrified for his two friends. They wouldn't be facing the Chinese fireball- the dragon Yao was good with for obvious reasons. Granted, things hadn't been too bad for the last two champions- sure, Fleur's skirt had caught on fire and the dragon Viktor was facing had trampled its own eggs, but it could have been worse.

Sadly, Yao and Harry didn't have the same arsenal of spells the older champions did. After hearing about the Unforgivable Curses incident with Yao, the other countries had ruled to (magically) restrain the magical abilities of him and Yao in order to keep their cover up. Now, Raj and Yao had the magical abilities of normal fourth years.

They were so screwed.

"They're coming out!" Ron shouted as the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs cheered.

"Die, Potter!" That annoying blond kid screamed.

Raj couldn't remember his name. Maleficent? Malformation? Mallory?

Deciding that since he couldn't remember it, it probably wasn't important, Raj turned his attention back to the stadium. From a small gated opening that was closing behind them, two black-haired figures were walking into the stadium, each dressed in Hogwarts robes. In the middle of the stadium, a Hungarian Horntail lay in wait, guarding the prize.

A stupid golden egg.

From the stadium, it looked to Raj like it wouldn't look out of place in an Easter egg hunt. It didn't even look too shiny. That crab from Moana would be disappointed. Maybe it actually had really cool carvings on it and Raj was too far away to tell? America kept on telling him that since he was old, his eyesight was failing and he needed glasses...

But that was nonsense! Raj was livelier than some of the nations centuries younger than him. Yao was the old man. Raj was cool and hip!

"What the...?" Ron's terribly confused voice put a stop to Raj's internal denial. The ginger boy was squinting at Yao. "Is Yao holding a cat?"

Indeed, Yao was holding a calico cat that, at the moment, was in the process of coughing up a hairball.

Raj cursed. "No, dammit. Yao, why didn't you bring a weapon?"

Harry was only slightly better. He was holding a cleaning appliance, albeit one that could fly.

Hermione sobbed, biting her hands.

Raj grimaced at his friend's feline choice of weapon. He knew Yao loved dragons, but the two could die! A _guan dao_ or a sword or a machine gun would be better for keeping them alive, even if the judges wouldn't be too impressed with the use of muggle weapons.

"Why is Yao holding a cat?" Ron demanded.

"Dragons are afraid of cats," Raj said, beginning to brainstorm ways to explain Yao's death to Yao's boss. "It's a little-known fact."

Ron and Hermione looked astonished.

Down in the stadium, the two began to approach the dragon. Harry was mounting his broom and Yao petted the cat. Raj swallowed.

The dragon snarled.

Yao looked like he was steadying himself. Then he threw the cat at the dragon.

"加油，小猫!"

In Raj's opinion, having your last words be "do your best, little cat!" wasn't very preferable. If it had been him, he would have said something like, "the world will soon be a dimmer place without me!" or "I don't want my funeral to be one of those creepy open casket funerals where they put makeup on me!"

Seriously, the cat/weapon wasn't even impressive. It didn't do anything remotely weapon-like. Instead, it sat down five meters away from the dragon and stretched luxuriously. Then it began to groom itself. The dragon, for some reason, found this very threatening. It roared in panic, rearing its giant head back.

Unaware (or uncaring) of the danger, the cat trotted right up and made itself at home in the dragon's nest. Said dragon was not very pleased with this turn of events. Blowing smoke from its nostrils, it tried to push the cat off (without actually touching the cat). Needless to say, the cat was not impressed. It stayed right where it was.

Harry had flown up on his broomstick to where he was a good distance from the dragon and Yao was crouching in wait, like a tiger stalking its prey.

"Th-they seem fine so far," Hermione whimpered, biting tightly onto her hands.

Raj gently moved her hands away. "Biting your hands won't help. Harry and Yao are smart. They'll be fine."

Hermione nodded. Ron looked pale and skeptical.

Snarling, the dragon lumbered up, glaring at the purring cat.

That was when Harry flew in. Grabbing the cat, he dived towards the dragon and brushed it lightly with the cat. Panicking and blowing flames everywhere, the dragon snapped at them, but Harry darted out of the way just in time.

Hermione screamed.

Harry pulled that stunt a couple more times, before pulling upwards. The dragon followed them, looking enraged. Hermione squeaked.

"Hey," Ron said, scratching his head, "If Harry took away the thing the dragon is scared of, shouldn't the dragon be grateful? I mean, Harry did piss the dragon off, but..."

Raj shrugged. "Ask Yao. He's the dragon expert. My most defining experience with a dragon was a Chinese one swatting me to Greenland when I pulled a prank on Yao."

Ron blinked. "Say what?"

"And that dragon didn't even seem to like Yao," Raj grumbled moodily, rubbing his hip as he remembered how much it freakin' hurt to get swatted to Greenland. "Maybe it was tsundere?"

"Guys!" Hermione screamed. "Concentrate!"

Ron rolled his eyes. "But concentrating on them won't help Harry and Yao-"

Hermione glared at him. Ron and Raj quickly began staring at Harry and Yao.

Further and further away from the nest Harry led the dragon, getting too close to the dragon for comfort at times. Raj felt his heart speed up. It was like one of America's action movies, except it was very much the two flying figures grew smaller and smaller, a lithe figure darted towards the nest.

"Oh, I hope Yao will be okay!" Hermione wailed.

"Please, please, please," Ron chanted quietly.

Raj kept his eyes focused directly on Yao. He was getting closer, closer, he had gotten the egg, there was a slight cheer...

And the dragon swooped back in, roaring with all the fury of Hades. Yao looked up, startled. Hermione screamed. Raj felt a cold, empty feeling in his stomach. Fire spewed from the dragon's nostrils, right on the spot Yao was.

Hermione burst into tears. The entire stadium fell silent. A wail came from Harry as he froze in the sky. Horror and grief crept into Raj's heart. Yao had been around for so long... the two them had traded together and swapped stories when England still wore diapers. He couldn't be dead...

"There he is!" Ron shouted ecstatically, pointing at a tiny figure only a few centimeters away from the site of the blast.

All of the students cheered in delight. Hermione cried even harder, pulling Raj into a tight hug.

"Thank all the bloody deities there ever were!" England yelled.

Rah beamed. Of course his friend was too tough to be killed by an oversized lizard (albeit one with fire breath).

The dragon snorted, looking confused as to why there was no medium-rare wizard. Probably frustrated, it blew another blast of fire at Yao. Raj squinted, managing to catch the Chinese man rolling aside before getting up and running. The dragon looked even more outraged. Clambering up, it charged after Yao, blowing fire in the direction of the Chinese man. Yao managed to evade it every time, leading the dragon quite a distance away.

Then, like a bird of prey, Harry swooped in. It was a testament to his bravery (or maybe his stupidity) that he would swoop in after seeing Yao nearly get charbroiled while doing the same maneuver. The dragon ignored Harry, for some reason. Maybe it really wanted Chinese food? If that was so, Raj knew this great authentic place...

"He's got the egg!" Ron screamed suddenly, pointing at Harry.

Harry had the Easter egg tucked under his arms and a big grin on his face. Swooping up, he let go of his firebolt for a second to pump his fist in the air with a whoop. The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs cheered. Yao yelled in delight. Hermione burst into happy tears. The annoying blond kid looked disappointed.

Almost immediately, too quickly for anyone to really process anything, handlers swooped in on broomsticks, one grabbing Yao and flying him out. Raj breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Yao get taken out of the stadium.

One task survived, two to go.

* * *

7/18/2017

Arrrrgh, I need more practice writing action scenes…

The "dragons are scared of cats" thing comes from China beating up his boss (a dragon) with a Hello Kitty doll.

And we are DONE with the first task! Stay tuned, kids, for the second task…

The (Evil) Little Mermaid(s)!


	24. We all (don't) love world meetings!

《इंडिया》

Raj reflected on how much he hated world meetings as England set up the video call in the European nation's office, which had been equipped with a giant screen.

There were also some pathetic European "ancient artifacts." Really, those items were modern compared to the ones from Asia and Africa. So were the European nations compared to the Asian and African nations. He and Yao had been around before England's father was even born!

To be honest, Raj always wondered whether England's old man was Rome or Germania. English sounded more like German, but then England might have had inherited that whole "ima take over the world" thing from Rome.

Seriously, there were only 22 countries that England _didn't_ invade. Maybe wanting to take over the world was genetical. England got it from Rome, America got it from England, etc.

But none of that mattered! Raj had been around before either of them! And he was too old for the stupidity and disrespect to elders the younger nations displayed.

Of course, that didn't mean he was _old_ , he was just wise and mystical! Yao was the grumpy old man.

France, who had come with Beauxbatons and was also present, tutted. "Denial, denial."

Oops. Maybe Raj had said some of his thoughts out loud.

Yao glared at Raj. And glared. And glared.

"Stop!" Raj protested. "You're creeping me out!"

The Chinese man kept and glaring at him with deep amber eyes that seemed to be able to penetrate his soul.

" _Band karo_!"

Yao kept glaring at him.

"I'm telling you, you're damaging me spiritually!"

"The call is working!" England announced with a proud huff, inadvertently saving Raj's soul from being stared to death.

And there, the fruits of England's effort on the giant screen... a beautiful nostril.

"Aiya!" Yao shouted. "Yong Soo, get your nostril out of the screen!"

Raj frowned. "I don't know if it's disturbing or cute that you can recognize the nostrils of your younger siblings."

The nostril pulled back to reveal South Korea's cheerful face, which pulled back to reveal the faces of some of the other nations (some of which were not-so-cheerful).

"I was fixing the screen, Aniki!" South Korea announced proudly, his Korean spirit-curl-thing beaming. "Greece and Turkey were carrying it in, but then they started fighting, so the screen broke!"

"Into a thousand little pieces, just like my heart after watching _Titanic_ ," Belgium added.

France furrowed his brow. "And... you fixed it?"

"Yep! All by myself! I also added some things to make the signal, resolution, and design better. It can now transport itself now to avoid anything like this in the future, fold itself into a small suitcase, defend itself from attackers, and monitor the temperature of the room. Oh, and it can also give massages and make tea, too."

Okay. So maybe South Korea was a hidden genius.

Yao smirked. "See, I told you all that my little siblings are the best."

"You bloody wanker!"

"Hey!"

"Smart Asians..."

" _Uri nara mansae!_ "

"Everybody shut up!" Germany shouted, looking like he was in severe need of a massage from the giant TV-turned-masseuse. "This is not some TV show where we compete to see whose little siblings are the best, this is a world meeting!"

"There wouldn't be any real competition anyways since my little siblings are obviously the best," England muttered.

" _Aiya_!"

"No way!"

"Big brother France has the most beautiful little siblings, _non_?"

" _'Non_ ,' 'cause Turkey's little siblings are the best and the hottest! Hahahaha!"

"Dude, that sounds kind of wrong..."

"Boss Spain has the cutest little siblings!"

"Everybody shut up!"

"Kesesese, the Awesome Me's baby brother is so cute."

"All of you are stupid weirdo bastards!"

"SHUT UP!" Germany shouted, slamming his hands down so hard on the table that it actually shook. It was a testament to this table's excellent strength, really. Most world-conference-room tables didn't survive five minutes. "China nearly died in the first task and you all are arguing about whose little siblings are the hottest! India and China's bosses are probably getting suspicious now! I told them that China and India are at an ancient Buddhist monastery in the mountains, but that alibi won't last forever, and it definitely won't last if China dies! Now-"

Hong Kong sarcastically began clapping. "Hear, hear."

Germany looked like he was about to strangle someone. Thanks to anger management, though, Germany did not strangle the Chinese teen. Yay, anger management!

Macau quickly muttered an apology for Hong Kong and swatted the teen's arm.

"Li Xiang! Behave."

"Fine," Hong Kong grumbled.

Macau looked pained. India suddenly realized that he was like the Germany of the Asians, having to make sure celebrating the Lunar New Year didn't result in WWIII. Macau turned to look at England and nudged Taiwan. "Mei has something to say to you, Mr. England."

"No, I don't!" Taiwan said stubbornly.

"Mei-mei, please behave."

"Arrrgh! Fine! I'm sorry for blaming you, Mr. Ugly Eyebrows. That's good enough, right?"

"Mei."

"Okay, okay!" Taiwan sighed sulkily. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, England. I know the whole Triwizard Tournament fiasco wasn't your fault and that you didn't want things to turn out like that either... so... sorry."

"It's fine," England muttered, looking embarrassed.

The nations sat in silence for awhile. England opened his mouth several times, but always weakly closed it. Germany was taking deep breaths while massaging his temple.

"Awkward silence," America sang in a really bad singing voice.

Mexico rolled her eyes. Raj half-expected her to smack America, but she started singing a Spanish song in a really loud and crazy voice.

America seemed to take this as a challenge, and he started screeching out one of his many patriotic songs.

The two singing brought back terrible flashbacks about the time Raj had gone to an Irish bar on a dare, except these two were sober (at least, Raj hoped they were).

Germany looked like he wanted to hurl himself out of the window.

"Aiya," Yao grumbled. "Stupid baby nations! Why, back in my day-"

"No one gives a flying fuck," Romano snapped angrily.

Italy burst into tears. " _Fratello_! Be nice to Mr. China! He makes us pasta and tells us stories about _Nonno_!"

"South Italy! How dare you speak so disrespectfully to your elders?" China screeched angrily. "I'll have you know, I was a respected and well-known nation before your grandfather was in diapers!"

"Yeah!" Raj agreed. "Back in our day, children who were this disrespectful were punished severely!"

"Luckily," Hong Kong muttered. "Human rights have taken a turn-"

" _Dios_ , do you ever stop being so sarcastic?"

" _Honhonhon_..."

"I'm the hero! Freedom!"

"Everybody, please attempt to remain calm..."

" _Aiya_ , Western nations are so disrespectful. You know, I raised my siblings to treat their elders with the utmost respect! Of course, those stupid Western nations had to undo all my hard work..."

"Shut up, you bloody wanker!"

"Stupid eyebrows!"

"Aniki! Aniki! I treat my elders respectfully, da-ze!"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Germany roared.

Chile banged the table with two sticks for added effect. Greece let out a particularly loud snore.

Germany turned to Macau with his right eye twitching. "Please give your report on China and India's bosses."

"大哥's boss is getting suspicious. He asked for him yesterday and wanted to send a plane to check up on 大哥 and India."

Hong Kong smirked. "But we told him that Gramps had specifically told us to tell him that he didn't want to be bothered under any circumstances unless it was World War III."

France frowned. "And that worked?"

The Chinese teen snickered. "Oh, the last time he said that to his boss was on Mei's birthday. But two officials came over in a car because... another border conflict or something? IDK. Anyways, he was super pissed about them disturbing his baby sister's birthday, so he chucked the car all the way to Mexico."

Brazil spit out her coffee.

Mexico laughed wildly. "I still remember the crash. The funny thing is, the car and the officials were still intact, though I think one of them wet his pants."

Macau sighed. "Damage control was... well, it's a miracle it stayed out of the news cycle."

Taiwan pouted. "Macau didn't let Hong Kong and I post it on YouTube, but it was so cool to watch! Like... like one of those Kungfu heroes from one of Hong Kong's movies!"

America frowned. "Wait... what year was this?"

"2004," Macau answered while drinking tea.

The blond nation gasped excitedly and turned to talk to something... invisible? What? "Matt! Bro! I told you I saw something flying that day!"

The other nations, meanwhile, looked like they were still processing the fact that Yao threw a car halfway across the world.

"To Mexico..." Turkey muttered.

"Thank Allah I'm Mr. China's friend," Pakistan said quietly.

"How did anyone ever win any wars against China?" Israel demanded angrily.

China looked smug. "Aiya, those stupid officials disobeyed me, their elder! Back in my day, no one would even dream about disobeying their elders... except for maybe my emperors. They were so annoying. Can you believe my first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, tried to bury me alive? Ridiculous."

"And there was that one that kept beheading you..." Raj reminded him.

"That one was so irritating, but I gave him a good scare, didn't I?"

Raj cackled. "You turned yourself into a zombie with the help of Romulus and I. I think the emperor wet his pants! Oh, and remember that one Sultan I had? The one who wanted me to keep fewer elephants?"

"He was so stupid and pompous. But he learned his lesson when we strapped him to a stampeding elephant's trunk!"

Monaco coughed. "Speaking of India's boss, could we maybe get the situation on him and go home before World War III breaks out somehow or the other?"

Germany nodded approvingly.

"India's boss is used to India's free spirit," Macau reported. "So he doesn't suspect anything."

"Well," Israel said, shoving his papers into his briefcase. "That covers everything. Now we can all go home and hopefully never see each other again because _man_ are you guys annoying."

"This meeting was quick," South Africa remarked.

"Too quick..." Mexico said, beginning to grin with America, who had slung his arm over... air? It was like England talking with the "Flying Mint Bunny." Maybe insanity ran in the family.

England coughed loudly, beginning to mess with the speakers. "Oh, bloody hell! The connection's bad!"

"I fixed it!" South Korea was heard screaming.

The British nation quickly shut off the screen, clearly uneager to avoid whatever Mexico, America, and America's imaginary friend were planning.

"Well," He announced, dusting off his shirt. "Thank God that's over."

Raj glared at England. He had wanted to see what would happen next! They would be separated by a screen anyways. It would be like TV, except it would be real. It would be reality TV! Or maybe it would be like one of those really weird anime things Japan made...

"Stop mumbling about anime!" Yao demanded.

"Eh?" Raj startled. "I said some of that out loud? Not again! I need to fix this habit..."

"What you need to do is meditate more!"

Raj nodded. "Good idea, old friend!"

"Stupid old wankers," England grumbled.

Said "stupid old wankers" turned to glare at England. Raj was about to unleash his full power on England when France coughed.

"Ehmm... would you mind answering a question for me?"

Raj sulked. They were just about to beat up England!

"How do you guys stay friends even when your nations aren't?"

" _Aiya_ ," Yao grumbled. "Politics get old after 4,000 years. Bosses get tiring. We've been friends for so long, why let it be disturbed by things that are, in the grand scale of things, nothing more than a speck?"

England swallowed. "That's both bloody depressing and inspirational."

Raj shrugged. "Well, the way we see it, our actions as humans and as nations are different. As nations, we need to be stronger and colder in order to insure that things will be done in the best interests of our people. As humans, though, we can keep caring about our siblings and each other, however estranged we may have become as nations."

France nodded. "That makes sense. _Merci_."

Yao smiled. "Anything for a friend, right?"

* * *

So I feel like the Hetalia characters act differently as humans and nations, one big example being China. You can see he loves Japan a lot in the anime and manga, but in real life... yeah.

A lot of Chinese people pretty much hate Japanese people because of what they did during World War II. (Mass rape, kill-Chinese-people tournaments, human experimentation, etc.) For reparations, they gave the Chinese some cash and conveniently forgot about it. Yay.

Korea is another example. While being all chummy with Japan in the manga (though Japan doesn't return the sentiment), there is a lot of anger in real life about… you guessed it… the Japanese occupation of Korea during World War II. The South Korean government even sued Himaruya over South Korea's character.


	25. Dangerous truths

《Hermione Granger》

Hermione tiptoed into the restricted section of the library under Harry's invisibility cloak, which she had borrowed/stolen. Her research was starting to bear fruit... fruit that was very troubling.

Sitting down at her desk, she opened up her folder, which was full of pictures she had pulled off the muggle internet. Many were in black and white- and not from an Instagram filter.

One of the black-and-whites was of what seemed like a family- except Raj and Professor Kirkland were in there. There was also a little Chinese boy that bore a strange resemblance to Yao. Raj had a tight look on his face, as if he would rather be doing anything than taking that photo.

There was also a blond man with a gentle smile holding a toy polar bear, a dark-skinned girl with a cheerful smile and pigtails, a boy with a wild grin and a bandage on his nose, and a boy with a calm smile and curls in his hair that was holding a toy sheep.

Another photo had Yao, Professor Kirkland, and Professor Bonnefoy (one of the professors from Beauxbatons that kept popping up in Professor Kirkland's classroom during class to bother him) in it. There were also two other men.

In the center was a grinning blond man with a cowlick and his arm slung around Professor Kirkland. Next to him was a tall man with an eerie smile, who had his hands on a scowling Yao's shoulders. Professor Bonnefoy was standing next to Professor Kirkland, and the two looked like they were "discreetly" pinching each other.

The men were all in authentic-looking military uniforms- Yao wearing China's, Professor Kirkland wearing the UK's, Professor Bonnefoy wearing France's, the blond man wearing America's, and the man with the eerie smile wearing Soviet Russia's. The man with the blond hair and cowlick had an identical face to that of the man with the polar bear in the earlier photo.

A third photo had a date on it- the day the Axis powers signed their pact. In it, there was a scowling blond-haired blue-eyed man with slicked back hair, a Japanese man with a bowl cut, and a beaming man with auburn hair and a stray curl. They were wearing the uniforms of the German, Japanese, and Italian military during World War II. The blond man even had a Nazi armband, which chilled Hermione to the bone.

While Hermione didn't recognize any of them, they did appear in another photo: in a selfie posted on Google maps, showing London in the background. The selfie was posted in 2015, but the trio still looked the same (albeit being in civilian clothing).

What on Earth was going on?

As she opened up another book, a cheerful voice made her blood freeze.

"Having fun, Hermione?"

* * *

So I've always wondered about how the nations kept hidden. Granted, Hetalia isn't really logic-based, but I tend to overthink things, so...

Obviously, they would have to keep hidden with all the animosity going on between nations.

Nazi Germany invaded and killed a ****-ton of people during World War II, so I doubt anyone would be happy about APH Germany just wandering around when 60 million people died in the Holocaust.

A lot Chinese and Koreans hate Japan with a passion because of what Imperial Japan did to them during World II (the Japanese also got Convenient Amnesia™ about it, an illness many nations who do bad stuff seem to present).

More examples being: Indians and Pakistanis hate each other, everyone hates America, Indians are pissed off at the Brits for the colonization, the Armenian Holocaust at the hands of the Turks, how Soviet Russia invaded its neighbours and were jerks, Spain (and England and France) killing off the native people during it's colonization of the Americas, etc.

To rub salt into these already very deep wounds, APH Germany and APH America are blond-haired blue-eyed people who are very much white.

The point being, the nations personifications wouldn't be able to walk around freely. But with today's conspiracy theorists and news channels and Google images... it would be hard to keep hidden. Someone would notice (that someone not being Harry or Ron. Seriously, there was a reason they weren't sorted into Ravenclaw).

But whatever. I'm just overthinking an anime.


	26. Revelation

《Hermione Granger》

"Jeez, I really hated my suit in that clothing!" Raj proclaimed, walking up and picking up the photo with him and Professor Kirkland in it. He wrinkled his nose. "I thought I had burned all the copies of this photo! Opium even got all mad at me."

Hermione's mouth hung open. For the first time in a long while, she was unsure of what to do.

Ripping the picture into the little shreds, Raj glanced at the photo of the five men. "Wow, Yao really is short! I mean, when you put him right in front of good ol' Ivan, you can really see it!" Raj tapped the tall creepy man. "You see this guy here? He's better friends with me than he is with Yao. Yao is also better friends with me than with that guy. I'm better friends with everybody!"

"Wha-"

Raj then ripped that picture into little bits.

Then he turned to look at the pictures of the trio and burst into laughter. "Luddy let his photo get onto the web? And he put a date on that old photo? That was probably Feli, but still... can you believe that he was getting all mad at us about not being careful enough? And I thought the Luddy's bosses got rid of all the Axis photos. Meh. Whatever. I think Kiku kept some? Anyways, Luddy can't blame us now for not being careful enough!" Raj laughed some more, and ripped the WWII photo into little bits.

He seemed to be about to do the same thing to the 2015 photo, before shrugging. "This thing's already on the web. No stopping it now."

Hermione blinked. Raj patted Hermione on the shoulder. "Well, I guess it's time for your first-ever trip to a teacher's office!"

Getting up in a confused daze, Hermione tried to process what had just happened. Raj's ramblings made no sense. Suits? Opium? Luddy?

Raj dragged Hermione to a secluded corner of the restricted section, the two tiptoeing. Glancing around, his gaze finally rested on a tiny corner of the library. He knelt down, with Hermione following his lead.

"What are you looking for?" Hermione asked, confused.

"Just… a little… something," Raj grunted, his hand moving around the corner and disturbing the dust on books. Finally, his gaze lit up.

"A-ha!"

Hemione looked where his hand was. Raj was holding a tiny wooden knob hidden between two books. Grinning, Raj tapped on it with his wand. An tunnel, barely big enough for a grown man to crawl through, appeared.

The Indian teen grinned. "Cool, huh? Li Xiang, Christian, and Tobias built it when they came here. Actually… I think only Li Xiang and Christian did the building. Tobias is such a stuffy sheep-lover. Always 'don't embarrass big brother, Christian!' and 'stop complaining about the food, Li Xiang!' Bleh. Christian is way better, his koala mauled Opium once."

"Who…?"

Raj grinned. "We're not talking about Matthew, Hermione."

Hermione felt utterly bewildered. Matthew? Raj, however, seemed to think his joke was hilarious. He snickered to himself for at least a solid minute while Hermione stared in disbelief. crawled into the trapdoor. Once he was a few feet inside, he beckoned for Hermione to come. However, Hermione's brain was starting to work again, and it told her that maybe following Raj wouldn't be a good idea.

"What, you don't trust me?" Raj pouted. "I thought we were friends! Fellow sock-knitters!"

Hermione pressed her lips together. Her instincts did trust Raj, but her brain didn't. Her instincts also told her following him would bring answers. Deciding that everything was already crazy and she might as well ignore her brain, she followed him inside. Screw it all. She was tired from studying and researching and she was getting sick of all the crazy stuff.

The tunnel was dark and smelled of… Chinese food? It was relatively dry, which made Hermione relieved. The walls pressed tightly against her, making her a little claustrophobic. Up ahead, she could see a faint light that brought some comfort to her. Once she neared it, she saw that it was a drawing of a panda, koala, and sheep.

"That's Li Xiang, Christian, and Tobias' mark," Raj whispered.

"Who are they?"

"Oh, Li Xiang is Yao's baby brother. And Opium's. Tobias and Christian are also Opium's little brothers. They were Gryffindors."

"But if these three made the passage at Hogwarts… and Li Xiang is younger than Yao…"

"It's complicated."

Hermione snorted. "Obviously."

Raj tapped the three animals with his wand, and the door popped open to reveal the Gryffindor common room. The only occupants were Fred and George Weasley, who were examining a book with gleeful smiles on their faces. The fact that a _book_ could make the two gleeful made Hermione nervous about its contents.

Raj hopped right up out of the passageway, but neither twin noticed.

"There's a spell to prevent people from noticing those who go in and out of the tunnel," Raj explained, helping Hermione up.

Huffing, Hermione dusted her clothes off before rubbing her forehead.

"You look confused," Raj said, sounding almost sympathetic.

Hermione nodded mutely.

Raj whooped. "I've done it! I've made history! I've confused Hermione Granger!"

Hermione groaned, putting her face in her hands.

Raj chuckled and pulled out a phone, where he typed some messages.

"I thought technology was against school rules," Hermione said immediately, frowning.

"Who cares. Besides, how else am I gonna quickly contact Yao? All the wizarding things are too much work. SMS is way better."

Raj then made his way out of the Gryffindor common room. Hermione quickly went after him. The two walked through the halls of the school at a rapid pace, though Raj was whistling as if they were having a leisurely stroll. The two got to Professor Kirkland's office, and Raj barged right in. This turned out to be a mistake.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Professor Kirkland, who was sitting on his desk in a rather _compromising_ position with Professor Bonnefoy, roared.

"Oops," Raj muttered, bringing up a brown hand to cover Hermione's eyes. "You guys finish having... ermm... doing whatever you're doing."

Hermione wanted to a) scream b) go crazy c) laugh or d) all of above.

Then there was a patter of feet and an exasperated voice. "I came as soon as I heard! _Aiya_ , this is all your fault, Raj! I told you-" Then the voice stopped. "你们这些蠢外人在干嘛 _?_ "

" _Honhonhon_ , big brother Francis needs to spread his love even in other countries-"

"Do you have no sense of decency?"

"We weren't-"

"Why, back in my day-"

"I get that you're an old wanker!"

"How dare you speak that disrespectfully to your elders?"

"You know, you guys could have at least locked the door."

"We. Bloody. Weren't. Doing. Anything!"

"Lies. All lies."

"Wait, _mon cher_ ," The French Professor interjected, stopping an argument that had been speeding rapidly downhill at speeds that would have made Mrs. Weasley faint. "Why is the smart girl here?"

"Oh, yeah. She's kinda on the road to finding out about us. She even has a bunch of photos. Can you believe the Axis Trio posted a selfie onto the internet? Morons!"

"They did what?" Yao shrieked. "And… why do you sound so relaxed?:

There was some angry cursing in English and French, and some shuffling. Raj removed his hand from Hermione's eyes. Yao and the two professors all looked ruffled and angry.

"I can't believe they bloody did that!"

Raj shrugged. "Yeah, super stupid. Young nations these days. They also found a photo of Opium's empire and of you guys and the other two Allies. Anyways, what should we do? A memory wipe would take a massive chunk out of her IQ."

Professor Bonnefoy nodded. "We cannot do that. People would notice."

"So we tell her?" Yao suggested. "And hope she doesn't spill?"

"I could cast a spell on her to ensure that she doesn't say anything-"

Raj snorted. "Yeah, because your spells always work out great."

"You bloody-"

"Let's get Lukas to do it," Professor Bonnefoy suggested. "Arthur's spells always crash and burn, sometimes literally."

Yao nodded. "That should work. She'll want to tell the two morons- er, Ron and Harry, though..."

Professor Kirkland scoffed. "They'd screw something up."

Raj shrugged. "You're right. I'm sure she'll see reason once we talk to her."

"Then we allow her to know, and have Lukas cast that spell on her?" Professor Bonnefoy asked.

The other three nodded.

"Hold on a second," Hermione demanded. "What are you people talking about?"

Raj chuckled. "Well, that's the thing, Herms. We're not really people."

"Vampires?"

"God, no," Professor Kirkland said, wrinkling his nose. "But Vlad does make me wonder..."

"We're the personification of nations," Yao said flatly. "I am the personification of China, Raj is the personification of India, Francis is the personification of France, and Opium is the personification of England and the UK."

"Li Xiang, Christian, and Tobias- the three boys that built the tunnel- they're the personifications of Hong Kong, Australia, and New Zealand, respectively," Raj added.

Hermione was silent for a moment. Then she smacked her head. It was so obvious now, however weird it was. It explained Yao and Raj acting like old men, calling Professor Kirkland Opium, and never really talking about their family. It also explained the military outfits.

Raj/India patted Hermione on the back. "Don't feel bad for not figuring it out. There are virtually no records of us. The photos you amassed were impressive, especially considering your age and limited resources."

Professor Kirkland/England nodded. "Even Dumbledore had a lot of trouble."

"Am I the only one who's wondering why she's not screaming in shock and horror and running away?" Professor Bonnefoy/France muttered under his breath.

To be honest, Hermione didn't know either. Maybe she was still in shock? Deciding to make the most out of the time she had before the shock really set in.

"I have a question."

" _Oui_?"

"What about all the crimes against humanity many nations have committed? The photo of the Axis Trio..."

Raj sighed. "Our bosses and governments have massive control over our minds. Sometimes they bring our dark side out- alternate versions of ourselves that, put plainly, are big jerks."

Yao/China nodded sadly, his amber eyes growing distant. "No matter how much we want to hold onto some things... well, life is too cruel and mind control is powerful."

Hermione nodded, not really sure what to think. Was the mind control similar to the imperius curse?

"Well," Professor Kirkland said briskly. "I'll put a call in for Lukas- he's the personification of Norway- to come in tomorrow. Also-"

"Don't tell Harry and Ron," Hermione finished. "I know, they'd spill the secret."

"Then we're on the same page. Excellent."

"I have another question. What are you people here for?"

"To look after Harry," Professor Kirkland said. "Yao and Raj are posing as students because they're the only ones who are old enough. For the other younger nations, there are records of them attending magical schools."

"Is something going to happen?" Hermione asked nervously. "Something... worse than what's already going on?"

Raj smiled kindly at Hermione. "Don't worry about it. You're still a kid. We'll figure everything out."

Hermione swallowed, but tried to reassure herself by telling herself that she, Harry, and Ron had been fine for three years with minimal help. Still… she didn't want to lose anyone, not her two stupid best friends, not her new friends Raj and Yao, nobody. But was the world really that nice of a place?

* * *

So I totally think the whole evil government-mind-control thing is a thing because look at the characters. They are way too cinnamon-roll-y to do evil stuff like kill innocent people.

And yeah, Raj was way to casual about dropping the bombshell. "Hey, this suit looks ugly! Oh, BTW, nation personifications are totally a thing."


	27. Rejection and hints

《Harry Potter》

Harry was sulking. The couch in the Gryffindor common room was a terrific place to sulk. Why was he sulking, you ask? Because the world was a terrible place.

"I bloody hate my life," He grumbled.

Hermione, who had been writing an essay while sitting on a chair across from the couch, rolled her eyes. "All these years running around fighting You-Know-Who, you don't complain. But you get friendzoned and now your life is suddenly miserable?"

"Hermione's right," Yao, who was sitting next to Harry and looked thoroughly annoyed, said.

Of course, since he was a Hufflepuff, he wasn't technically supposed to be in the Gryffindor. However, Percy, Professor McGonagall, and Dumbledore had tried to stop him (in that order), and all failed. Everyone had given up at that point.

"Next time you like a girl," Yao continued,"Aask her out early, before someone else takes her. Anyways, it's only one ball."

"The Yule Ball! And she'll be with Cedric-"

"You have three years and a few months of school left to make up for you stupidity. Now shut up. I'm too old to deal with the angst of you teenagers."

"You are a teenager!" Ron protested, sinking deeper into his beanbag in confusion.

Hermione coughed, hiding her face behind her parchment.

Harry frowned, suddenly thinking back to yesterday, when Ron had told him that he thought Hermione was acting a little weird. But Hermione wasn't, was she?

Raj, who was also on Harry's sulking-couch, reached over Yao to pat Harry on the shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry! I got Ron and you dates with the Patil twins! Aren't I the greatest friend ever?"

"But I wanted to go with Cho Chang!" Harry complained.

"Hey! What's wrong with the Patil twins? Indian women are better than Chinese women anyways-"

"Both you you 本单, shut up!" Yao yelled, kicking Raj in the shin. "Now come on, Harry, let's go outside so I can strengthen up that body of yours. Martial arts is the best for making the body and mind stronger than steel! You know, you really need to start doing _tai chi_ with me in the morning. And you definitely need to eat more! Honestly, what do they feed you at the Dursley's?"

Still sulking, Harry got up and followed Yao outside. He stomped through the corridors with his hands in his pockets. They walked for a bit, Harry feeling miserable. Then Yao sighed and patted him on the shoulder.

"Listen, Harry," Yao said gently. "Everyone makes mistakes. We let things pass us by that we shouldn't have. But there's no changing the past. All we can do is gather up the pieces and move forwards."

Harry nodded sullenly. "Okay-"

"Harry! Yao!" Cedric's voice interrupted Harry, sending a bolt of annoyance flashing through him.

The two turned around to see Cedric running up to them, grinning.

"How's your day?"

"Wonderful," Yao said.

Harry grunted.

"Have you listened to the egg underwater yet?" Cedric asked Harry. "What do you make of it? I mean, I guess we're not supposed to talk about it, but you know..."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. Truth be told, he hadn't listened to the egg yet, despite Cedric's advice several days ago to listen to the egg underwater. Cedric had told him in order to repay Harry for telling him about the dragons.

Yao narrowed his eyes. "Egg? Underwater?"

"Yeah. Hasn't Harry told you?"

"It probably slipped his mind," Yao said, smiling thinly.

Harry gulped.

Cedric shrugged. "Okay, well, bye!"

"Bye," Yao said, still smiling dangerously.

Harry feebly waved.

The instant Cedric was out of there field of vision, Yao angrily began dragging Harry to the prefect's bathroom. Getting out his wand, he muttered _accio, stupid golden egg_ and the egg flew over, taking off one of the heads of a knight statue in the process.

"Hey, couldn't we have just did _accio egg_ during the first task?" Harry asked.

Yao glared at him. "Yes, but the dragon would have stopped the egg from flying over."

Harry gulped at Yao's angry look, and reverted to the topic on hand. "I-it did slip my mind!"

"Slipped your mind?" Yao said sternly, his voice tight. "Harry, you could die in this tournament. Don't tell me it slipped your mind, I'm not stupid. You were jealous of Cedric because of Cho, so you decided not to use this valuable piece of information that could save your life!"

Harry hung his head.

"This is why it's better to have your elders decide your marriage," Yao grumbled. "None of this teenage junk! Now, if it were up to me, that Ginny girl is quite wonderful. Excellent family-"

Harry blushed. "She's already going with Neville."

"笨蛋! Back in my day-"

"We're at the bathroom," Harry interrupted.

Yao's eye twitched. " _Aiya_! How dare you interrupt your elder! Back in my day, children hung onto every word their elders said. Now hurry up."

The two ran into the bathroom.

"Wow, this place looks nice!" Harry remarked.

The prefect's bathroom appliances were doused in gold, and the bathtub looked large enough to fit several people. Glowing balls of white light overhead cast a pure shine onto the floor and walls. It looked like an underwater palace- at least compared to the normal bathrooms.

"Care to strip?" A girlish voice asked.

Harry screamed in terror, jumping into Yao's arms. "Help!"

There was a fit of giggling as Moaning Myrtle floated out of the bathroom wall. "Hello again, Harry! I've missed you!"

Blushing, Harry let go of Yao. Yao ruffled Harry's hair affectionately.

"Are we in the girl's bathroom?" Harry squeaked.

Myrtle burst into another round of laughter. Yao facepalmed.

"I just came in here to visit you!" Myrtle sang. "You're going to listen to the egg underwater, right?"

Harry blinked. "How did you know?"

She shrugged. "Oh, I just happen to see Cedric do it?"

"Huh? You saw him take a bath?"

"Never mind that!" Yao snapped before the conversation could continue. "Hurry up and get into the bath!"

"Ermm… but… how are we going to take a bath to listen to the egg without getting our clothes wet?"

Yao sighed a long, drawn out sigh. Raising his wand, he muttered a spell. "There."

With another sigh, Yao cast the spell on himself. He undid his ponytail, causing his silky black hair to cascade down around his shoulder. Then he hopped into the bathtub.

Harry lagged behind.

"Are you sure it'll work?" Harry asked nervously.

"What, were you hoping to impress someone with your cute clothes?" Myrtle asked, pouting. "You know, you could bring me to the Yule Ball…" She winked at him.

"Hurry up," Yao grumbled. "So that I can go back to the Hufflepuff common room and bang my head on the wall repeatedly."

Nervously, Harry walked towards the edge of the bathtub before, with a deep breath, getting into the lukewarm water. With a sigh of relief, Harry saw that his clothes had indeed stayed dry.

"See?" Yao said. "Now let's go underwater. Remember to hold your breath. The spell may protect your clothes, but it won't protect your lungs."

"I'm not stupid!" Harry protested.

Yao gave him a look. Myrtle snickered.

Huffing, Harry took of his glasses and set them to the side. Then, taking a deep breath, he dove underwater with Yao. Surrounded by water, the egg glowed a golden hue, like the sunrise. Yao's hair had scattered into a black mist around his head, the rich light of the egg dancing across his face making him look almost ethereal. His slender fingers pried the egg open, revealing an pale egg-shaped orb with a miniature castle, like the one from the Little Mermaid. Harry grimaced, bracing himself for horrible screeching. To his surprise, though, a song came out, strong and enchanting.

 _Come seek us where our voices sound,  
We cannot sing above the ground,  
And while you're searching ponder this;  
We've taken what you'll sorely miss,  
An hour long you'll have to look,  
And to recover what we took,  
But past an hour, the prospect's black,  
Too late, it's gone, it won't come back._

Gasping, Harry resurfaced, Yao following close behind with the egg in his hands.

"The challenge is mermaids," Yao hissed.

Harry blinked.

"I hate those little twerps," Yao grumbled.

"Wha-"

"Mermaids can only sing underwater," Yao explained. "As said in the song, they've taken something from us, and we only have an hour to get it back."

Myrtle gasped dramatically. "Ooh, how heroic! I'll be rooting for you, Harry!"

Harry blushed.

Yao sighed. "Come on, Harry. Also…"

"Yes?"

"Go with Parvati to the Ball and be nice to her."

"Okay…" Harry mumbled.

Patting Harry's head fondly, Yao led him out of the prefect's bathroom.

* * *

Yay, Momma Yao!

Also the whole series would have gone way faster if Harry was a tad smarter.

" _Who could be this mysterious Half-blood Prince?"_

oH gOOd qUesTion hOw cOuLd yoU pOssiBLy kNow it'S nOt liKe yoU'vE bEEn reAdinG tHeir hAndwRiting wRiTing fOr 5 yeArs oFF a bLacKboArD


	28. The Yule Ball

《Harry Potter》

Harry never wanted to see Raj dancing again.

If he could eradicate one thing on the Earth, Raj dancing would be at the top of the list, right next to cancer, war, and Voldemort.

"When the bloody hell will Yao come?" Ron grumbled, who was dancing with Padma at Professor Kirkland's urging. "Someone needs to get Raj under control."

Harry nodded. He was dancing with Parvati, as per Yao's request.

Padma snickered. "He reminds me of my दादा- my grandpa."

"Hey!" Raj yelled. "I heard that! I'm young and spritely."

The Patil twins burst into giggles.

"Okay, but are you _sure_ that's how they danced in ancient India?" Ron demanded. "I respect your culture, but that dance looks like a possessed person trying to do Gangnam Style!"

"How do you even know what Gangnam Style is? You're a wizard! Also, yes, this is how they danced in ancient India! I mean, I wasn't there or anything… ehe…"

Before Harry could process that, Ron made a choking noise.

"Bloody- look!"

Harry blankly looked around before Parvati kicked him and pointed at the top of the stairs. When he saw what Ron had been looking at, he choked on air too.

Yao and Hermione were strolling towards them, and they looked _bloody fabulous._

Hermione was dressed in a silky pink dress with many layers, like the petals of a rose. Her hair was only slightly curled and some of it was pinned in a bun to the top of her head. The rest of it spilled over her shoulders. There was a magenta sash around her waist and a sly smile on her face.

At the bottom of the stairs, Viktor Krum was waiting for her. He took her hand and politely kissed it. Ron, for some reason, looked annoyed. Why was he annoyed? Harry had no clue.

Yao, who had also reached the bottom of the stairs, looked pissed off. Harry had no clue why either. Did he not like his clothes? Harry thought his clothes looked fine. Yao was dressed in an ancient Chinese gown of aquamarine and pure white. The green-blue sleeves were shrouded in transparent snow-white lace like mist. A jade ornament with long red thread coming from it was held in place by a tight aquamarine sash around his waist. He looked like an ethereal ancient Chinese ghost, emerging from the mist.

Padma poked Raj and said something in Hindi. Raj jerked up and swore.

"हे भगवान! I was supposed to be waiting for him at the stairs or something like that!"

Harry felt like a fog had been cleared from his brain. So that was why Yao looked so mad! Everything made sense now! But why was Ron so mad?

The thought was pushed from his brain as he heard Cho laugh as she danced with Cedric. Yao and Hermione might have looked good, but Cho looked like a goddess. She looked perfect. Harry wished he was dancing with her right now.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his shins. Harry yelped. Yao had kicked him.

"Aiya, what on Earth are you doing?" Yao demanded furiously. "You're supposed to be dancing with Parvati!"

Harry blinked, realizing he had gotten kinda distracted. Parvati looked annoyed and upset.

"Yeah!" Raj agreed enthusiastically. "You need to respect your date-"

Yao laughed dryly.

"Okay," Raj said hurriedly. "So maybe it was a bit rude of me to not wait for you but I got confused! You know, since we're both guys and all."

"Really?" Yao said coldly. "Might I remind you that you were bragging all last night about your amazing 'yang power?'"

"But-"

" _Yang power_ ," Yao grumbled. "I'll show you some 'yang power.'"

"You do look like a chick in that dress Mei sent you though! Like… like… a hot mom! Right, Harry?"

"Huh?" Harry asked, shaken out of his thoughts of Cho.

"Ron? What do you think?"

"Eh… no comment."

"Hot mom…" Yao hissed, his left eye twitching dangerously.

"You two should just start dancing," Padma advised. "And you should probably just do normal ballroom dancing to prevent Raj from doing his… ehmm…dance?"

Scowling, Yao grabbed Raj's hand with one of his own slender hands and put the other on Raj's shoulder. "Let's get this over with."

"Hey, cheer up!" Raj protested, putting his free hand on Yao's waist. "With all the political and war junk- er, I mean all the schoolwork! That's right! Who said anything about politics and war?" Raj coughed nervously. "Anyways, it's been forever since we last danced! I think the last time was in 100 B.C. - umm, I meant three years ago! Yeah! Not B.C.! I definitely wasn't alive then!"

Yao raised an elegant eyebrow. "If I recall correctly, the last time we danced Romulus and Alaric also puked all over the floor and we accidentally traveled to the New World."

"Right?" Raj grinned, leaning closer to Yao. "Fun."

A small smile crossed over Yao's face. The two began to dance, moving out of sync with everyone else, like they were lost in their own place, their own time.

Pansy Parkinson made a disgusted face and muttered something under her breath at the two, but Ron, noticing, made a rude gesture at her.

"Why can't you be romantic like that?" Parvati demanded.

"What?" Harry felt confused. "You mean making a rude gesture at Pansy?"

"No!" Parvati shrieked. "You're hopeless!" Looking furious, she stomped off through the crowd.

Before Harry had a chance to say anything, Padma gave him a dirty look and marched off after her sister.

Ron blinked, before patting Harry on the shoulder and dragging him over to the chairs. "Good going, mate. You just lost our dates."

"Huh?"

Before Harry could figure out what had happened, there was a loud crash as the windows of the Great Hall were destroyed, sending glass spraying out. The professors all cried out in shock, before raising their wands and stopping the glass. Yao and Raj had also pulled their wands out.

From the window came… a tree? That was flying. Riding the tree like a broomstick was a teen, perhaps a year or two younger than Harry. The teen had snowy hair that looked almost white and violet eyes. An eerie smile graced his face.

"Opium!" Raj shouted. "Did you summon Ivan by accident?"

"Bloody- no!"

The tree stayed suspended in midair, while the teen hopped down and came right over to… them?! Wait… was the same Ivan in the Ivan-and-Natalya thing and the smelling-Yao's-clothes thing?

"Yao-yao!" The teen sang in an almost childlike voice. "Dance with me, _da_?"

Ron screamed.

"Bloody hell!" Professor Kirkland cursed, marching over with Professor Bonnefoy.

"More gay people?" Pansy demanded. Susan Bones kicked her.

Dumbledore looked unperturbed, and fixed the window with a wave of his wand. "It's alright, everyone! Go back to your merriment!"

No one seemed to think that it was "alright," though, and despite activity resuming, they made a wide circle around the newcomer and his tree broom.

"Hey! Wait!" Raj protested. "Yao lost that bet to _me_ , not you, Ivan!"

Ivan giggled. "You are so fun! Now, move out of the way. Yao-yao will become one with Mother Russia!"

"Wait… what?" Ron squeaked.

The teen turned to Ron and Harry. Harry gulped.

"Hehe, you two are so cute. Become one with Mother Russia, da?"

"Now, just wait a moment, Ivan," Professor Kirkland interjected. "This is-"

"Everyone will become one with Mother Russia!" Ivan insisted.

"I won that bet fair and square-"

" _Honhonhon…_ "

"Bloody stop it before someone calls the Ministry-"

"What's going on?"

"Everyone shut up!" Yao yelled angrily, breaking away from Raj to smack Ivan on the face.

"That's right, Yao," Raj muttered. "Summon your inner Ludwig!"

Ivan suddenly looked like a three year old being denied cake on their birthday. His lip wobbled. "Yao-yao will not become one with Mother Russia?"

Yao's eyes softened. For some reason, despite being shorter, he looked almost motherly towards Ivan. " _Aiya_ … look-"

"Yao-yao will become one with Mother Russia!" Ivan sang.

"Just wait a second!" Yao interrupted, his expression becoming annoyed again. "No one's becoming one!"

" _Kolkolkolkolkol_ …" A dark aura surrounded Ivan.

Harry and Ron gulped in terror. The two professors looked nervous. Raj paused in the middle of doing some dance at Ivan that was probably rude. Yao looked irritated.

"Stop all this 'kolkolkol' and 'become one' nonsense at once, Ivan!" Yao scolded. "You're not a child anymore! Literally crashing a party is unacceptable. And put that tree of yours away!"

"Yeah!" Raj chorused. "Yao's dancing with me anyways! India is the best!"

"Oh, bloody hell," Professor Kirkland grumbled, putting a finger gun to his head.

Professor Bonnefoy patted him. "I'm sure this will resolve itself. For now, why don't we continue dancing?"

Grumpily, Professor Kirkland stomped off holding Professor Bonnefoy's hand.

"They're dating?" Harry asked with a sudden realization.

Ron gave him a look. "Mate… even I noticed that."

While Harry came to grips with this revelation, Raj and Ivan were arguing. Or at least, Harry thought it was supposed to be arguing. It looked more like a cross between a dance off and two four-year-olds fighting over a toy.

"Yao-yao will become one with me!"

Raj did some dance moves.

"Yao-yao has closer relations with me!"

More dance moves.

"Your bosses don't like each other! And my face is paler! Yao-yao likes pale skin, da?"

Was Raj doing the moonwalk?

"Both of you, shut up!" Yao screeched furiously, his face a red hue. "I'm sick of seeing you two act like five year olds! This is so incredibly embarrassing-" Yao took a few rapid breaths. "You two can moonwalk and whine alone! I'm going to go help out the house elves with the food- at least they don't act like that werewolf and sparkly vampire from Twilight."

Yao stomped off, pushing his way through the crowd. Some people snickered at Raj and Ivan. Raj looked disappointed and Ivan looked like a kicked puppy.

"Well," Ron said brightly. "Looks like you two messed up too. Want to go get some punch?"

Before either could answer, the doors to the Great Hall burst open. From the doors a blond kid, maybe the same age as Ivan, dashed in with a screech of "freedom!"

"The hero is here to save the world from Ivan!" The blond kid pronounced proudly.

The students stared at him, but apparently deciding that weird appearances were a part of this Yule Ball, they went back to dancing.

"Yeah, too late, Yao already told both of us off," Raj muttered, grabbing a seat next to Ron and Harry.

The blond kid shrugged, then seemed to notice Ivan's dejected expression. "Hey, bro, why do you look so miserable? Doesn't Yao tell you off, like, every other day?"

"What I'm surprised about is that you can read the atmosphere, Alfred." Raj muttered.

"Hey!" Alfred protested.

Ivan sniffled.

Alfred immediately looked guilty. "Don't cry! The hero will help you!" Alfred gave Ivan a hug. "Okay! There! Freedom!"

"He sounds so American it hurts," Ron whispered to Harry.

Professor Kirkland and Professor Bonnefoy came over to them again, Professor Kirkland sprinting and Professor Bonnefoy strolling along calmly.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Professor Kirkland demanded.

Alfred blinked. "Oh, hey, Iggy! 'Sup? Yeah, Luddy told Ivan and I that we had to tell you guys something about… a kraken? No, it was something Russian-sounding..."

Professor Kirkland scowled. "Bloody hell, why did he have to send you two?"

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with me!"

"Then why don't you remember his bloody message?" Professor Kirkland howled. "And for that matter, why didn't he write to us?"

Alfred's expression suddenly brightened. "Oh! I remember!" He grinned. "Ludwig said that the head of Drumstring-"

"Durmstrang," Professor Kirkland corrected.

"Whatever. Anyway, this guy, Carp-off-"

"Karkaroff."

"Whatever, dude! Anyways, that guy used to be a Death Eater, so like, be careful of him."

Professor Kirkland's eye twitched. "Bloody wonderful. But couldn't you guys have kept a low profile?"

Alfred stared at him blankly. "Uh… you know… reverse psychology! Yeah."

Grinning, Alfred turned to Harry and Ron, who were staring at him incredulously. Harry's head hurt. Karkoff used to be a Death Eater? Was he why Harry was in the tournament?

"Also, here," Alfred said, handing Harry a white package.

Confused, Harry took the package. It was light and when he tipped it around, there was no noise. Nervously, Harry gripped it harder, but it made a little crunching sound.

"I call it 'Super Top Secret Seaweed of Underwater Breathing' or 'STSSUB' for short! Cool, huh? Anyways, I made it with my bros Yong Soo and Yosef for you and Yao. They wanted to call it gillyweed, but that doesn't sound nearly as cool as STSSUB! Do ya like it?"

Harry blinked. "Y-yeah, thanks…"

"Awesome!"

Ron frowned. "I know I sound like a Hermione, but… are you guys supposed to be interfering with the tournament?"

Alfred shrugged. "You know what they say- screw the rules!"

Professor Kirkland scowled. "Nobody says that, Alfred."

"Whatever," Alfred scoffed. "Bye, bros!"

"Bye," Raj said, looking amused.

"Bye..." Harry and Ron muttered, in a befuddled unison.

"Good luck, dudes!" Alfred chirped, before grabbing Ivan, who had been moping quietly throughout the entire conversation.

Waving goodbye, Alfred led Ivan to the tree broom and the two flew out of the window.

"Good God," Professor Kirkland grumbled, stomping off with Professor Bonnefoy close behind. "I need to go get drunk."

Harry, Ron, and Raj were silent for a moment.

"What just happened?" Harry asked, confused.


	29. The Second Task

《Viktor Krum》

Being half-shark was miserable.

Viktor decided that if he ever had to go underwater again, he would not transfigure himself into a half-shark. He would maybe use the bubble-head charm or eat some magic seaweed, like he had seen Harry and Yao do.

Those two champions were far beyond Viktor know, which Viktor noted with displeasure. He could see Cedric several meters away from him, but neither of them attempted to make contact. Viktor had lost sight of Fleur a few minutes ago. He wasn't sure, but he thought she might have been attacked. Pity.

As he swam a head, a dark mass of what seemed to be structures began to come into view. Mentally gritting his teeth (physically his mouth was full of stupid shark teeth), Viktor quickened his pace.

Descending into the village, Viktor felt a sense of triumph. He was pretty sure he had gotten there before Cedric. However, the triumph was downplayed by the fact that Harry and Yao had almost certainly gotten there before him. Also, it felt murky, like the time he had gotten a fever. His mother had sat by his bed and sung soothing lullabies.

Sternly, Viktor reminded himself that he had grown, and that he needed to complete the task. Pushing himself off from one of the crumbling walls, he began to swim amidst the mer village. It was like that lost city in the Muggle legends: Atlantis, was that the name? Fish darted throughout the buildings, and from the shadows, Viktor could have sworn there were eyes watching him.

However, they didn't bother him. As he swam about, he could sight of a black cloud, which Viktor quickly recognized as Yao's hair. Tensely, he swam towards them, and felt a sense of shock as he saw that Yao and Harry were still there, and they seemed to be watching over-

Good mother of his, were those _people_? Strapped to statues, there were five people- seemingly one for each champion. Hermione was there, her brown hair floating around her like an ethereal mist and her eyes closed as if in a deep sleep. There were two others that Viktor recognized as Cedric and Yao's dates from the Yule Ball. The fourth was the redhead always around Harry and the fifth was a girl that held a close resemblance to Fleur.

"So this is what the song meant by what we'll 'sorely miss'" Viktor thought, staring at them in an almost-trance. "No wonder Yao and Harry were watching over them."

Yao was the first to notice him, turning striking amber eyes in his direction. Viktor swam over, realizing that he needed to get Hermione back up. But how was he supposed to untie her?

The half-shark thing was definitely never happening again.

Harry seemed to notice him, and, after glancing around, handed him a sharp rock. Grudgingly nodding his head gratefully, Krum broke Hermione's bonds. He noted that two of the people were already free- the hostage for Yao and the hostage for Harry.

Glancing behind him, he saw that Cedric was coming over. Viktor's fellow champion quickly untied his hostage's bonds.

The four stayed still for a few seconds, watching each other. Harry gestured at the fifth hostage.

Cedric shook his head, making a cross with his arm to indicate something had happened to Fleur. Harry looked confused, then, after a few seconds, he seemed to understand.

Viktor sighed internally, preparing to leave. He was lucky that Yao and Harry had been nice enough to wait for the other hostages, otherwise Viktor would have lost. Before he could, though, a stab of doubt flickered through him. He could almost hear his mother's voice, demanding if he would let the little girl just stay underwater like this.

Glancing back at the other two, he saw that Cedric, while looking like he was preparing to leave, was hesitating a bit as well. However, a few merpeople had gathered around the little girl, as if determined to prevent them from taking her.

Harry was giving the two a look of pleading. Yao was watching them with unnervingly steady amber eyes that seemed to pierce their soul. It was like his mother's gaze.

But Viktor had to win. Pushing aside the voice, he prepared to leave. However, a prickling feeling in his back stopped him once again. Yao was glaring at him and Cedric, his fiery eyes burning through the layers Viktor's soul, bringing back the voices and memories of the past and asking him what he could live with doing.

Could he live with leaving the little girl behind?

 _You can't_ his mother whispered in his head _even if things turn out to be safe, you'll still feel like a terrible person for not being more concerned about her. But my little boy isn't a terrible person, is he? No, my little boy is sweet and kind._

Viktor swam over to the girl, gnashing his shark teeth at the merpeople. They lifted their spears. Cedric swam over as well, lifting his wand with a determined expression. Harry raised his wand was well and Yao was holding some sort of ancient Chinese weapon.

They stood there in their stand-off for several moments, Yao glaring at the merpeople steadily for several moments. Apparently, his gaze had an effect on them as well, because they backed off. Or maybe it was the multiple weapons. Whatever the case, they had retreated.

Harry swam over quickly and untied the girl. Feeling his conscience soothed now that Viktor knew the girl would be safe, he began the ascent upwards, softly nudging Hermione along with his nose.

Being a shark really was inconvenient.

* * *

Okay, so I had always wondered about Cedric and Viktor's thoughts when they swam away from Fleur's little sister. I mean, the kid would have been fine even if no one had helped her, but that's still a bug on your conscience, right?

And Yao's magic glareᵀᴹ (which totally saved the day) was inspired by a Chinese man suing an actress once because her stare had damaged him spiritually. Yep, that's one powerful stare.


	30. Someone's gone bonkers

《Viktor Krum》

"Viktor!"

Viktor Krum blinked, turning around to see Harry Potter running up to him to catch up.

"Hello," Viktor grunted.

Harry was grinning. "I just wanted to thank your for, you know, sticking with Yao and I. Back during the Second Task. I'm sorry it caused you to come in third."

Viktor shrugged. He had come in third despite technically reaching the water second, due to the judges deciding to award Harry and Yao extra points for being the ones to actively try to keep the hostages safe and for convincing Cedric and Viktor to join. Now, the Hogwarts students were tied for first.

"Anyways," Harry continued. "I know that Ron doesn't like you- I mean, I think he doesn't like you. I don't know why though."

Viktor raised his eyebrows, half-tempted to laugh.

"So do you want to have lunch with my friends and I-"

"Harrrrrrrrryy Potttttttter," A voice hissed, causing both young men to jump.

Barty Crouch was staggering up to them, a desperate expression in his eyes. He grabbed onto Harry's arms. Viktor immediately pulled out his wand.

"Let Harry go!" He demanded.

Crouch swiveled his head around to stare at Krum.

"Dumbledore," He rasped.

"Sorry," Harry said, nervously pushing Crouch off. "That's not Dumbledore. That's Viktor."

"I think he wants to see Dumbledore," Viktor suggested.

"Dumbledore… please…"

"I'll go get him," Harry offered.

Viktor nodded. Harry dashed off.

"Dumbledore," Crouch mumbled deliriously, grabbing onto Krum's shoulders.

"Yes, I know, Harry is going to get him."

"Please…"

"I said Harry's going to get him! Also, whatever it is, can't you just tell me n-"

 _Avada kedavra_

There was a flash of green light, and, the madness slowly fading from his eyes, Crouch's grip and Viktor loosened and he fell to the floor.

Before Viktor even had a chance to react, to scream, to do anything, a second spell was cast.

 _Stupefy_.

Viktor's world dissolved into black.


End file.
